


Target Male: Inaccessible

by Phoenix1018



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, F/M, Gay Michael Mell, Hurt/Comfort, Jeremy is a good friend, Just assume no one is straight, M/M, Michael Mell Has a Squip, Pansexual Jake Dillinger, Trans Rich Goranski, eventually, its only hurt in the beginning, this idea came to me at 2 am
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-11-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:35:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 36,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23499874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phoenix1018/pseuds/Phoenix1018
Summary: What if Rich confronted Michael in the beginning of Be More Chill instead of Jeremy? How would the story be different if Michael was squipped instead? Watch as Michael navigates newfound popularity, a relationship that he really doesn't understand, and a squip who's insults his a little bit too close to home.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere & Michael Mell, Michael Mell/Jeremy Heere (one sided), Rich Goranski/Michael Mell
Comments: 126
Kudos: 143





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to me at two am, and since I'm bored i thought I'd try to write it. Hope you enjoy :))

"Thought I told you not to wash that off, queer!"

Michael sighed, dropping his backpack defeatedly into the sink, watching the the water soak into the rough fabric. "It's not like it's gonna come off anyway." Michael muttered. He had been scrubbing at it for the better part of 15 minutes, but the sloppily printed "RIENDS" still stood out, dark as ever against his backpack. He'd made a show of not being bothered when Jeremy put their backpacks together to reveal that they spelled "BOYFRIENDS", but he'd be lying if he said Jeremy's reaction didn't sting a little bit. "You wrote it in permanent marker."

Rich sauntered over to the nearest urinal and unzipped, not taking his eyes off of Michael. Gross. "Yeah, cause I didn't want anyone to forget your super gay relationship with tall-ass." 

Michael really couldn't bring himself to be offended by that, since Rich had called everything under the sun gay at some point or another, but he was getting really tired at how often Rich felt the need to remind him that he was, indeed, gay, as if Michael didn't already know that. "Why can't you leave Jeremy out of this?" Michael said through gritted teeth. "Yeah, I'm gay, hilarious, haha. But Jeremy isn't, so why bully him too?"

"I have my reasons." Rich said simply. He zipped up again, leaning casually against the wall. He shook his head slightly, then added, "Jeremy is a fucking loser. He deserves it."

"Yeah, whatever." He was done with Rich's shit. He started making his way towards a stall, where he could hopefully pee in peace without anyone bothering him -

"The only thing more pathetic than that is how you're sneaking into a stall to get away from me."

Or not.

"Stalls are for girls. Or, I guess, in your case, gays, right, Mell?"

That was it. Michael was officially done with Rich. "Can you just, stop with the gay jokes for five minutes?" He said tiredly, turning back to face Rich's smug expression. "Have you never heard of the whole "homophobe who's secretly a closet case" thing? Keep the jokes up, and people are gonna think you're compensating for something."

Rich's smile dropped, and his face went pale. Michael couldn't help but scoff internally at that - was he really so insecure in his own sexuality? - but then his head twitched, and expression was gone as quickly as it came, once again replaced by his usual indifferent smirk. "What, trying to hit on me, Mell? Because I'm not intere - "

Suddenly Rich froze. His body seized up, and he slammed against the back wall, his face twitching and muttering relentlessly. What the fuck? What was going on with him now? Rich had always been weird, but this was really something new. Was he okay? Should he do something to help? He glanced around uncertainly. No one else was in the bathroom with them. What should he do?

Luckily he didn't have to do anything, because Rich eventually stilled again, his shoulders slumping.

Alright. That was weird.

"Uh... I'm gonna - " Feeling like he'd seen something that he wasn't supposed to, Michael awkwardly started to back out of the bathroom. He could just pee at home. 

"NO!" Rich slammed his hand against the wall, making Michael jump. Rich slowly turned his head to look at Michael, his expression menacing. "You don't remember me freshmen year, do you?"

"Freshman - you didn't go here freshman year, did you?" Michael said, his confusion only growing. What did Rich want with him now? What did that have to do with his freshman year?

"I DID!" He growled, slamming his hand against the wall again, harder this time. "You just didn't notice. Nobody did." Was that... a lisp? Rich slapped his neck, twitching again before continuing. "I was a fucking loser in freshman year, just like you. I was invisible. Bullied. Miserable. Sound farmiliar?"

"I..." Michael was stunned at this. Rich? Unpopular? It didn't compute. "I'm not miserable." Michael finally muttered, looking down at his feet.

"Yeah, sure. But you wanna know what happened?"

"I'm guessing you're gonna tell me anyway."

Rich ignored him. "What made me go from a suicidal loser to the king of the school? All it took was a little thing called a 'squip."

"A... what?"

"A squip. It's a gray pill with a supercomputer inside. It implants in your brain and tells you how to be cool."

Michael rolled his eyes. "Really funny, Rich. That's impossible."

"Shut up, you fucking queer!" Rich roared, making Michael flinch back again. Rich winced. "Ah, sorry, old habits. I'm sorry for treating you and your boyfriend like human garbage all the time. I only did it because my squip told me to. But now it's telling me that you might want a squip of your own! How about it?"

"No." Michael said flatly, folding his arms at Rich. "Even if something like that did exist, which it doesn't, I'm totally fine being a loser. I have everything that I need in my life. So thanks, but no thanks."

Michael started to turn around again, but Rich grabbed his shoulder and spun him back around, forcing Michael to look him in the eye. "Really? There's never been a moment in your life where you wanted more than being the scum of the school? There's absolutely nothing in your life that you're not happy about? Something that you would like to change?"

Michael paused at that, letting his arms fall to his sides. He thought back to that morning, and Jeremy's look of disgust at their backpacks pressed together, and how Michael had felt a twinge of sadness that Jeremy hated the idea of them dating that much...

Michael had liked Jeremy since their softmore year. He knew it was stupid, so fucking stupid, because they were best friends, and Jeremy was straight, and he liked Christine, and he would never, ever, ever like Michael back. And he was okay with that, he could deal with it. And besides, the whole 'squip' thing was bullshit, just Rich trying to mess with him. 

Right?

Rich grinned triumphantly at Michael's hesitation. "Yeah, I thought so. I have a hookup at a Payless for 6 hundred. Just... think about it, okay? Bring the money tomorrow if you're interested."

Rich clapped Michael on the shoulder and left the bathroom, leaving Michael alone, feeling more confused than ever.

****

"So... he's totally scamming me, right?"

Jeremy shrugged, not taking his eyes off of his television screen. "You never know. Rich is a weird dude, he could very well have a supercomputer telling him what to do. Ah! Son of a bitch!" Jeremy spammed the controller, shooting the head off of a pixelated zombie. 

"But it just doesn't make any sense. Why would he offer one to me? He hates me!"

"Maybe he feels bad. You know, for bullying you and stuff." 

"Yeah, maybe." Michael said, unconvinced. They were both silent for a few minutes after that, save for the surprised shouts and strings of swear words as they fought their way through _The Cafetorium_ on Apocalypse of the Damned. 

"Either way," Michael said, breaking the silence as they played, "I'm not gonna do it. I don't care about being popular."

Jeremt furrowed his eyebrows. "Michael."

"What?" He said, feeling slightly defensive at Jeremy's tone. "I don't."

Jeremy grabbed the remote and paused the TV, turning to face him. "Michael, you know I wouldn't mind if you did." He said gently, nudging Michael's knee with his own. "I mean, you're my best friend, and my favorite person, but I would understand if you... wanted something more out of your life. I know I'm not exactly the best companion to have."

Michael gulped, glancing down at the spot where their knees were pressed together. "We gotta work on these self-esteem issues of yours, Jeremy." He said, hoping his tone sounded joking. 

"Oh, piss off." Jeremy shoved him playfully. "But seriously. Even if you don't mind not being popular, wouldn't it be nice to not be teased anymore? I dunno, I just... I think it's a huge opportunity, and I don't think you should just throw it away."

"But what if it works, and I get popular, and then I have to hang out with people like... like Chloe Valentine, and Jake Dillinger? All the popular kids are so aggressively heterosexual, I don't know how to fit in with a crowd like."

Jeremy laughed. "Oh, come on, Mike. I'm sure they're not that bad. Okay, Chloe _is_ pretty terrifying..." Michael chuckled. "But it might be nice, you know? And, who knows? Maybe if you get popular, I'll be cool by association or something."

"I... I dunno, Jere." Michael turned back to the TV, resting his head against his knees. "I just... I don't know. Even if I did want that, I don't know if I trust Rich to be telling the truth about it in the first place."

"Well, we don't have to trust Rich with it, then. He said his hookup is at the Payless, right? You could go there yourself, check it out? It may help you make up your mind."

Michael was silent at that. The more he thought about it, the more tempting the offer was. He really didn't mind not having many friends, but it would be nice to avoid the slew of teasing and homophobia that was thrown at him every day through the hallways. And who knows? Maybe if he had something to help him, Jeremy would -

Nope. He wasn't gonna get his hopes up on that one. Jeremy was straight. End of strory.

"I'll think about it." Michael finally said, reaching for the remote and unpausing the TV. And just like that they were back Apocalypse of the Damned, and the moment was gone.

But still, the idea of the squip lingered in the back of Michael's brain.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Squip Enters

Michael stared at the pill in his hand.

He was really doing this.

He wasn't going to give in to Rich's offer, he really wasn't. But he was so tired of being bullied for his sexuality, and maybe if he was cooler... maybe it would stop. And maybe if he was cooler...

Well. He'd have to find out.

"Go on," Jeremy urged, pushing the bottle of mountain dew across the table. "Take it."

"I'm gonna." Michael said. Still, he made no move to bring the pill any closer to his mouth. "I just... Jere, this could change my whole life."

"Which is why you shouldn't waste any more time." Jeremy encouraged. "Go on, Mike."

"Alright, alright, I'm doing it." Michael took the lid off of the mountain dew with trembling fingers. His heart was pounding in his chest. What if something went horribly wrong? "Here we go."

Before he could change his mind, he tossed the pill down the back of his throat, quickly washing it down with a mouthful of the soda. It tasted vaguely minty and left a cool taste in the back of his throat.

Huh. He didn't feel any different.

"Well?" Jeremy said impatiently. "Anything?"

"... Nothing." Michael said, feeling a stab of disappointment. He knew it was probably a long shot, but part of him was still holding out hope that it was possible. "I feel the same as normal."

"Oh." Jeremy's face fell. "Oh, no, Michael, I'm so sorry. This - this is my fault, I told you to buy it, that was so stupid of me. I - I still have my bar mitzvah money, I can pay you back - "

"No, don't bother." Michael waved him off, forcing a smile. This wasn't Jeremy's fault, he just wanted Michael to be happy. 

"But - " Jeremy began, still looking guilty.

"Seriously, Jere, it's okay." Michael's phone suddenly chimed, and he picked it up. He felt his face light up. "Oh, five minutes!"

"What? Where are you going?" Jeremy said bewilderedly as Michael lept excitedly from his chair.

"A guy at Spencer's is hooking me up with a case of Crystal Pepsi!" Michael said, bouncing with excitement. "It's like regular Pepsi, only clear!"

Jeremy tilted his head. "Weren't those discontinued in the 90s?"

"That's what makes them so awesome!" Clapping Jeremy on the shoulder, Micharl bound off to Spencer's and tried to wipe the 'squip' from his brain. Really, how stupid was he to fall for that? A pill-sized supercomputer that would instruct him how to be cool? Yeah, right. He was just desperate. Desperate and lonely.

Whatever. He'd get over it.

Michael arrived outside the Spencer's, and he was rooting through his pocket to look for his remaining 200 dollars, when he suddenly felt a stabbing pain in his head, and he gasped in pain, bringing his hand up to grasp at his temple.

**"Target male: out of range."**

"What the _fuck_?" Michael shouted as the loud, smooth voice filled head, collapsing on the mall floor. A few people around him stared oddly, but he didn't care because the pain in his head was almost unbearable.

**"Calibration in process. Please excuse some mild discomfort."**

Michael whimpered, putting his head between his knees and biting his lip hard to keep from crying out. Fuck, this hurt. Was the squip working? Was it supposed to feel like this? Was something going wrong?

" **Calibration complete. Access procedure initiated. Discomfort level may increase."**

Michael shrieked as a new wave of pain overcame him, and he couldn't stop himself from writhing on the floor as white hot pain coursed through his head, spreading all the way to the depths of his lungs and the tips of his fingers. _Please, god, make it stop -_

**"Accessing: neural memory. Accessing: muscle memory. Access procedure: complete. Michael Mell, welcome to your Super Quantum Unit Intel Processor.... Your SQUIP."**

The space in front of Michael filled glitched, and the air was filled with hundreds of multi-colored pixels before... Keanu Reeves materialized in front of him?

Alright. It's not like this situation could get any goddamn weirder.

"You..." Michael was speechless. His hung open wordlessly, still in shock at the fact that _holy hell the squip worked._ "You look like..."

" **Keanu Reeves, yes. My default mode."** The squip's voice was smooth and authoritative, and his expression was neutral as he stated down at Michael. **"You can also set me as Sean Connery, Jack Nicholson, Sexy Anime Cat Girl..."** The Squip paused, and his calm expression shifted into a smirk. " **However, based on the data I've managed to gather from your brain, perhaps you would better take information from someone a bit more... familiar?"**

"Familiar?" Michael said blankly. "What do you -"

His question was instantly answered when the air in front of him shimmered and the Squip began to shift. He shrank down several inches, his hair changed to a sandy brown color, his suit changed into a striped shirt and a blue cardigan -

And Michael was suddenly staring into the eyes of a smug-looking Jeremy Heere. "Holy shit." Michael muttered, letting his mouth fall open once more. 

**"Jeremiah Heere. Your best friend and your target male, correct?"** It was Jeremy's voice, but it also wasn't. It was far too smooth, far too confident, and it wasn't riddled with stammering. And Squip-Jeremy was standing stock still, back perfectly straight and arms rigidly at his sides. But it was still close enough to the real Jeremy that it was extremely uncanny.

"How... did you know that?" Michael decided to disregard whatever 'target male' meant, for now.

" **I'm inside your head, Michael. I can see every single thought you've ever had."**

"Yeah, that's... that's super weird." Michael said, after a moment of stunned silence. "Can you just go back to Keanu?"

**"I'm sorry, that's a negative. My objective is to help you become more popular, and my quantum structure says that you are most likely to accept my advice if it's coming from Jeremy."**

"Okay, cool, that's cool." Michael muttered distractedly, raking his hand through his hair. "So, can everyone else see you?"

" **I exist only in your mind. All everyone else can see is you having an animated conversation with yourself. So don't do that. Just try to think at me."**

"Oh... okay." Michael said out loud. "Wait, I mean, uh - **alright."**

Jeremy - _no, not Jeremy, the squip_ \- nodded. **"Excellent. Now, I'm going to teach you how to be more chill."**

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. **"You mean 'cool?'"**

" **I do not."** Squip-Jeremy said, narrowing his eyes in a judgemental expression that looked very odd on his best friend's face. " **You see, human social activity is governed by rules, and I have the processing capacity to understand those rules and pass them on to you."**

Squip-Jeremy stepped closer to Michael, and Michael realized with a jolt that he had bright, electric blue eyes instead of the soft blue-brown of the real Jeremy. **"So,"** He said, a smile twisting onto his face. **"Let's get to work."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comment with thoughts/suggestions!! Ty <33


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The squip instructs Michael on how to be more chill... and it's not what Michael was expecting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, the angst begins...

**"Arch your back. Puff out your chest."** Squip-Jeremy ordered. Michael compiled, straightening his spine out and wincing when he felt it crack. Yikes, his posture really was awful. **"Good. Now, lose the headphones."**

 **"What? Why?"** Michael said in surprise, automatically bringing his hands up to clutch his headphones protectively. He couldn't get rid of his headphones. Sometimes having them on and blasting music was the only thing keeping him from having a full-blown panic attack as he navigated the crowded hallways at school. He hunched in on himself, holding his headphones tighter. **"What does that have to do with being - OW!"** He felt a jolt of electricity go down his spine, and he jumped. **"Did you just _shock_ me?"** He turned to Squip-Jeremy indignantly, who looked unbothered.

 **"Spinal stimulation. You were slouching."** He said simply. " **Wearing those headphones everywhere is closing you off from social interaction. They give people the idea that you don't want to be spoken to."**

 **"But I _don't_ want to be spoken to."** Michael said with a frown.

 **"I know. One of the many reasons you're unpopular."** Squip-Jeremy paced around him, his eyes slowly traveling up and down Michael's body. Michael couldn't help but feel slightly flustered; even though he knew it wasn't actually Jeremy, it was odd to see his gaze linger on Michael for so long. " **Your nerdiness is tiring. You talk too much about things that nobody else is interested in, and that causes people to become exasperated whenever you talk to them."**

 **"I... I do?"** Michael said quietly, feeling a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach. Did people really not care when he talked to them? Jeremy had always seemed to be interested whenever Michael would ramble about his new vintage sodas or the documentary he had watched the night before, but had he been faking? Was he actually annoyed with how much Michael talked?

Squip-Jeremy rolled his eyes. **"Of course I am."** Michael jumped. He had forgotten that the squip could hear every single thought he had. What was even weirder was that Squip-Jeremy was talking about himself as if he was the actual Jeremy, which only made him feel worse. **"Who wouldn't be annoyed, Michael? The only reason I even hang out with you is because I have nobody else who's willing to be friends with me."** Michael stared at him. That couldn't be true, Jeremy cared about him... right? Michael knew he did. But hearing the words come out of "Jeremy's" mouth felt... not good.

" **But,"** Squip-Jeremy continued, " **that will change soon, Michael. In addition to elevating your social status, I'm also here to help you acquire your target male."**

" **Target male? What does that even mean?"**

Squip-Jeremy sighed. **"I suppose you might call it having a 'crush'. I'm here to help you obtain the person you hold romantic feelings for. However, since your target male is someone who will drag down your social status, this may cause a bit of conflicting instructions -"**

 **"Wh- wait, you're talking about Jeremy?"** Michael interrupted. He felt his cheeks heat up, and he scrubbed at the annoying pink hue, desperately trying to hide his embarrassment. He had never admitted his crush out loud to anybody before. **"I d-don't - I don't like Jeremy!"**

**"Don't stutter. And you can't lie to me, Michael, I'm inside your head."**

The part of Michael's brain that still hadn't quite processed all of this thought it was a bit hypocritical for someone who looked and sounded like Jeremy to tell him to stop stuttering, but the rest of his brain was worried about more important things. " **Listen, Je - uh, squip, I appreciate that you're trying to hook me up and everything, but... Jeremy - the real one - is straight. You're gonna have to find me a new 'target male' or whatever, cause -"**

 **"I can't do that, Michael. The probability of you getting over your crush on me is astronomically low."** Wow, thanks. As if he didn't feel bad enough about it already. **"You wouldn't get anywhere attempting to pursue anyone else. And besides, in order to be popular enough to date anyone else, you need to reboot your reputation. You're nowhere near good enough yet. Everything about you is terrible."**

**"Wh- terrible?"**

**"Terrible."** Squip Jeremy confirmed solemnly. **"Everything about you makes me want to die."**

Michael bit his lip to keep it from quivering. If it was anyone else saying this to him, Michael would have probably shrugged it off. But it was Jeremy, someone who had always been there for him since he was five years old. **"H-how do I fix it? Make myself better?"** Michael asked quietly.

**"Well, we can start with something simple. Buy some new clothes."**

Michael glanced down at himself **. "Jeremy got me this hoodie for my birthday. What's wrong with it?"** Michael said confusedly. Jeremy liked his hoodie, why did he need to change it?

Squip-Jeremy rolled his eyes again. " **Doing things solely because I like them isn't going to make you popular. I'm trying to help you date me, but I'm also trying to help you gain influence among your peers, and this hoodie is not getting you any closer. Not only does wearing the same thing make it look like you don't know how to dress yourself, but you're also loudly advertising your homosexuality with that patch."**

" **I'm - I'm doing _what?"_** Michael spluttered, shocked at how casually the Squip said this. He glanced down at the rainbow patch on his left arm, yet another gift from Jeremy, given to him shortly after he came out. The last thing he expected was the Squip to be homophobic, especially after it offered to help him get with the real Jeremy.

" **I'm not "homophobic." I wasn't programmed with any particular disdain towards homosexuality, I'm simply informing you that being openly gay is going to make you less popular among your school peers. So, lose the jacket and the headphones."**

Michael sighed defeatedly. " **Fine."** He muttered. He took his headphones off and pulled his red hoodie over his head. He felt oddly vulnerable without them, wearing nothing but the thin 'Nintendo' shirt he had thrown on this morning. He wrapped his arms around himself, careful not to let himself slouch again. **"What do I do with stuff?"**

**"Put it in a shopping bag. Turn into that store over there and grab one, we're buying you some new shirts."**

Michael complied, walking into the store Squip-Jeremy pointed him to and putting his hoodie and headphones into a shopping bag. 

" **Pick that shirt."** Squip Jeremy ordered, instructing Michael to pick up a shirt towards the back of the store.

Michael wrinkled his nose. **"No, I hate Emin - OW!"** Michael yelped as another shock ran down his spine. " **What was that one for??"**

" **You need to learn to not argue with me so much, Michael. It's irrelevant whether you like Eminem or not. My quantum structure enables me to envision possible futures. I envision a future in which you wear an Eminem shirt and things turn out well."**

 **"Ugh. Fine."** Michael picked the Eminem shirt off of the rack and put it inside the shopping back.

 **"Now, you try picking a shirt."** Michael picked the first shirt on the rack he saw, and Squip-Jeremy sighed defeatedly. **"That's a girl's shirt, Michael."**

" **Oh, sorry - "**

"Michael?"

Michael jumped, turning towards the voice that was calling him and found himself face to face with Chloe Valentine. "Oh, uh - hi." He said awkwardly.

"You shop here?" She said, narrowing her eyes. 

"Oh, yeah, I -"

" **Never."** Squip-Jeremy reprimanded. 

" - Uh, never. I never shop here." Michael quickly corrected himself.

" **Greet the beta."**

 **"The beta? Oh -** Hi, Brooke." Michael gave her a hesitant smile, which she returned. Michael had always liked Brooke. She seemed sweet, which was unusual in the popular crowd.

**"Tell her she looks sexy."**

Michael turned to Squip-Jeremy bewilderedly. **"She knows I'm gay, why would I tell her that? OW!"** His head snapped back to Brooke as yet another shock went down his back.

" **Don't argue. And don't smile. Speak like you don't care about your own death."**

"You... look sexy, Brooke?" Michael tried his best to follow the Squip's instructions, but couldn't help but feel slightly awkward, since he had never in his life thought that a girl looked "sexy".

Brooke looked surprised for a moment, then smiled, seeming genuinely flattered. "Thanks."

"Is that a girl's shirt?"

" **Say yes."**

"Oh, yeah." Michael brought the shirt in front of him, wondering where the he was going with this.

**"Repeat after me. I saw it in the window, and I couldn't dismiss."**

"I saw it in the window, and I couldn't dismiss." Michael repeated, trying to follow Squip-Jeremy's dramatic diction.

" **I was dating a girl, and she had a shirt just like this."**

"I was dating - **wait, what?"** Michael started, turning back to Squip-Jeremy. **"They're not gonna believe that, they both know I'm gay."**

 **"Incorrect. They have both seen your rainbow patch, but you haven't specified to anybody besides Jeremy that your interest** **lies exclusively in men. So, we are going to try to give the image that you're bisexual."**

**"Why?"**

" **I'll explain later. Just do it."**

 **"Alright...** I was dating a girl, and she had a shirt just like this." Michael continued talking to Brooke and Chloe. Chloe raised her eyebrows, but didn't say anything.

" **It's still painful."**

"It's still painful." Michael said, making his expression pensive and distant.

"So... who was this mystery girl?" Chloe asked, a condescending bite in her voice as she stroked her hand over the shirt she was holding.

**"What do I say?"**

**"Madeline. Your ex-girlfriend is Madeline."**

Michael didn't even know a Madeline. "It's... Madeline."

Chloe snapped the hanger that she was holding in half. "What?" She growled.

"Madeline broke up with you?" Brooke asked, her brow furrowed.

**"I broke up with her."**

"I broke up with her."

**"Cause she was cheating on me!"**

"Cause she was... cheating on me?" He hoped the actual Madeline didn't get shit for this. Whoever she was.

"I knew it!" Chloe shrieked. "She is such a slut!" Michael frowned. He really didn't like the term 'slut.'

"You're so much better off without her, Michael." Brooke said sympathetically.

"Yeah. Who does Madeline think she is?" Chloe sneered. She steered Brooke to the other side of the store, going on a tangent about how much she hated the afore mentioned Madeline. Had he just... had a civil conversation with the two most popular girls in school?

" **What just happened?"** Michael asked, turning back to Squip-Jeremy.

**"A shared negative opinion is the fastest social bond. You want someone to like you...hate who they hate."**

" **Right."** Michael supposed that made sense. But more importantly... **"Why do I have to pretend to be bisexual?"**

**"It will open your dating pool to more popular people, which will make you more desirable. Dating somebody like Brooke Lohst or Chloe Valentine will be fantastic for your social status. Not to mention... it will make Jeremy jealous."**

" **Why would me being bisexual make Jeremy jealous?"** Michael asked. This whole thing just felt... wrong. He didn't think becoming popular would entail pretending to feel attraction to the opposite sex, but... he guessed that was just the point in his life he was at.

" **If you want any chance of dating me, you're going to have to make yourself more desirable, so that I see what I'm missing out on."** There he was again, referring to himself as the actual Jeremy. It made him feel vaguely uncomfortable for reasons he couldn't quite describe. **"By extending your dating pool, I will see that you are capable of acquiring a romantic partner, a possibility that I was never faced with before. You're going to completely submerge yourself in the popular crowd, and if all goes according to plan, I will realize how much I miss you, thus elevating your chances of me developing romantic feelings for you."**

 **"Wait, so you're saying that I have to ditch you - I mean, Jeremy, for the popular people?"** Michael said, aghast. 

**"Correct. You're going to make me miserable, so I realize how much I need you."**

" **But that feels... really scummy."** Michael says reluctantly, fiddling with the hem of his T-shirt. **"Why can't I just get Jeremy to like me by being nice to him?"**

" **Because you've been attempting that since since you were 14, and look how far that got you."** Michael flushed, looking at his feet. " **You need to stop questioning me. If you want this to work, you can't just listen. You have to obey. Now, repeat after me..."** Squip-Jeremy's voice went quiet, and he put a hand on Michael, shaking his head pityingly. **"Everything about you is just terrible."**

Michael bit his lip. " **Everything about me is just... terrible."**

**"Good. Everything about you makes me want to die."**

**"Everything about me makes me want... to die."** His voice cracked horribly on the last syllable, and to his horror, he felt tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. Jeremy's opinion had always meant everything to him, and hearing him say this... it made him wonder if the real Jeremy was thinking the same thing. 

He wiped at his eyes furiously, looking up to face the Squip. **"What do I need to do next?"** He asked, a new determination in his voice. He was going to be better. For Jeremy.

Squip Jeremy smirked. " **Brooke is going to offer you a ride. It's imperative that you accept."**

As if on cue, Brooke walked back towards Michael, her eyelids hooded. "Michael..." she said, her voice silky smooth and seductive. "Do you want a ride?"

**"Yes."**

"...Yes." Michael whispered.

God, he hoped he didn't end up regretting this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yall it's HURTING me to do this to Michael
> 
> Please comment with thoughts/suggestions!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a big Brooke Lohst fan (I mean I'm a big fan of most of the characters in this show) so enjoy a lil Brooke content in this one

Surprisingly, Pinkberry with Brooke and Chloe was relatively pleasant. Brooke bought Michael a cup of vanilla yogurt, and he sat back and listened to her talk as he ate it. Brooke talked about a lot of things, jumping indecisively from one subject to another; school, shopping, Jake, the mall, pizza, music, then back to shopping. Michael found her incessant chattering to be endearing, but several times he saw Chloe scoff or roll her eyes when Brooke launched into tangent about another subject without concluding her thought on the previous one.

Michael couldn't help but be troubled by this. He knew that Chloe wasn't exactly the nicest person, but was she really this annoyed by her friend's rambling? Brooke seemed like a sweet person, and even though Michael wasn't particularly passionate about any of the things Brooke was talking about, it was nice to listen to her. Michael could listen to Jeremy talk for hours, about absolutely anything. When Jeremy rambled he would flail his arms around with large, excited gestures, and his face would light up -

"Mmph!" Michael bit back a yelp as another shock went down his spine, gripping the back of his chair tightly.

 **"Stop that."** Squip-Jeremy said harshly inside his head, forcing Michael out of his daydream. **"We're focusing on the heterosexual part of of your new popular persona, and you're not gonna convince anybody of its existence if you're constantly drooling over me. Keep any romantic thoughts about males out of your head, especially ones about me."**

Michael sighed. **"It sounds like you just don't want me to be gay."**

**"Well, it certainly isn't helping your reputation. Just because I'm helping you get with me doesn't mean I'm happy about it."**

"Michael?" Brooke said, brows pinched in concern, and Michael realized he had been staring at a spot in the distance with his eyes glazed over for the past thirty seconds. "Are you alright? I'm not boring you, am I?"

Chloe scoffed again. "Who don't you bore, Brooke?" She said. Brooke's smile dropped, and she looked at her lap, her cheeks dusted pink.

Michael felt a spike of anger at Chloe, but forced it down. "No, Brooke, of course you're not boring me. I just, uh -" Michael glanced down at his cup, and saw that the yogurt left had melted, leaving a white, runny sludge in the bottom. "I should probably get going, ladies. Thank you for the frozen yogurt, Brooke, but I have to -"

"Wait, what?" Chloe interrupted, a scowl taking over her features. "You're leaving?" 

"Yeah?" Michael furrowed his eyebrows. "I can't stay here forever."

Brooke frowned. "But..." She bit her lip, "I thought that you might want to..." She trailed off.

" **What does she want from me?"** Michael thought towards his squip.

**"She wants you to come over to her house. That's why she invited you out in the first place."**

**"But why would she -?"** Realization hit Michael, and his eyes widened. " **No. No way. I'm not gonna have sex with Brooke. I've never had sex with anybody, and I can't lose my virginity to a girl!"**

He heard Squip-Jeremy sigh. **"I had a feeling you would say as much. I know I won't be able to convince you yet, so I'll let you go home today."**

Michael sighed in relief. **"Thank you."** Then, to Brooke, he said, "I'm really sorry, Brooke, but I can't today. My moms need my help with something. But another day, maybe?" Definitely not another day. But she didn't need to know that. 

Brooke looked disappointed, but she smiled at him anyway. "Okay." To Michael's surprise, she stepped closer until she was pressed flush against him. "My boyfriend cheated on me too." She said sympathetically, running a hand through his hair. "Ex-boyfriend. So, I know how you feel."

"Brooke." Chloe said impatiently. She slapped her hip, gesturing Brooke over to the car. "Come on, we're leaving too."

"Oh. Okay." She giggled, following Chloe. "Au revoir." They both piled into Chloe's car, and they drove off, leaving Michael alone outside Pinkberry.

Michael wheeled towards Squip-Jeremy. " **Why didn't you tell me that Brooke wanted to have sex with me??"** Michael demanded.

**"I thought that if I didn't tell you Brooke's intentions, you'd be more likely to go along with them. It seems I was wrong."**

Michael exhaled shakily, running a hand through his hair. This whole situation was so weird, and wrong. **"I'm going home."** He said firmly, making it clear that he wasn't in the mood to argue right now. 

" **Okay, Michael."**

****

When Michael woke up the next morning, it was to an empty, silent room. He sat up, looking around his room cautiously. "Hello?" He whispered. No answer. He tapped his head uncertainly. "Are you on?" He asked, slightly louder. "Hello?"

"Michael?" His mom called questioninly through his bedroom door. "Who are you talking to, sweetie?"

"... Nobody, mom." He called back. "Huh." He felt an odd mixture of disappointment and relief at the absence of the Squip. He was still slightly annoyed at how much the Squip had forced him to change the day before. When they had arrived at Michael's house, the Squip took one look at Michael's room and demanded that he get rid of all his vintage things, claiming that they "didn't match" his new aesthetic. He was reluctant to (that Ecto Cooler really hadn't been cheap) but a harsh zap down his spine made him quickly comply.

But at the same time... he sort of had popular friends now. And it was pretty cool to have more people like him.

Oh well. The whole 'Squip' thing actually working was a long shot anyway.

He shrugged, reaching to grab his red hoodie from where he had tossed it in his hamper yesterday. But when he tried to pull it over his head, a sharp electric current ran through his back. He yelped, dropping the hoodie on the floor. **"What did I say about wearing that?"**

" **There you are. Where have you been?"**

**"I've been going over yesterday's data to determine the best approach for today. I'm sorry for leaving."**

**"It's - it's fine."** Michael still wasn't used to hearing Jeremy's voice so clearly in his head. **"What do I wear instead?"**

**"Wear the Eminem shirt you bought yesterday."**

Michael made a face, but didn't argue, pulling his sleep shirt off and putting on the Eminem shirt. It scratched uncomfortably on the small of his back, and he cringed. He already missed his jacket

" **Skip breakfast. Walk to school."**

 **"Why do I have to walk?** " Michael complained, tossing his backpack over his shoulder and heading into the kitchen. "I **have a car."**

 **"You have a PT cruiser."** Squip-Jeremy scoffed. **"That's a loser's car."**

Michael frowned at that. It was weird to hear the word 'loser' come out of the usually professional Squip's mouth. 

**"While you were asleep, I attempted to adapt some of Jeremy Heere's speaking patterns."** Squip-Jeremy said, answered Michael's unspoken question. **"It will make this experience more believable."**

**"Can you not do that? It's already weird enough that you look and sound like the real Jeremy."**

**"Nope. Like I said, all of the choices I make are to make you more likely to listen to my instructions. So, you're gonna have to deal with it."**

**"Great."** Michael muttered. Now the Squip's insults were going to be that much more painful. Waving goodbye to his mom (his mother had already left for work), he left the house, taking the Squip's instructions and walking to school. 

When he walked into the building he was immediately approached by Rich. "Yo, where's my money, Mell?" He demanded. Oh shit, he'd completely forgotten that he was supposed to have gone through Rich

**"Oh no. What do I tell Rich?"**

**"Up up down down left right A."**

Michael felt a stabbing pain in his head, and based on the way Rich jolted backwards, he had felt it too. "No way! You got one??" He said, his face lighting up.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry. I meant to go though you first, but Jeremy thought I should -"

"Hey, man, don't worry about it. I mean, I could have really used the money, cause things are kind of rough at home, if you know what I'm saying..."

"Oh, I -" Whatever sympathetic words Michael was going to say died on his lips, and he felt completely new ones spill out of his mouth on their own accord. " - My... dad... drinks... too?" _What the hell?_ Where did that come from? He turned to Squip-Jeremy questioningly, and he just gestured for Michael to look back at Rich.

"Yo, fucking dads, right?!" Rich put a hand on Michael's shoulder, steering him down the crowded hallway. "He usually passes out by nine. You should come over and play X-box!"

"Really? You want me at your house?" Michael said disbelievingly. Rich was being... very nice to him. Was this the real Rich, without the Squip telling him torment people?

"Yeah, sure, why not?" Rich shrugged, giving Michael a small smile. Then his eye twitched, and he cleared his throat. "As long as you're not gonna make a move on me or anything, queer."

Michael scoffed. There he was. "Real cute, Rich. But you're not my type." Michael shrugged Rich's hand off of his shoulder and started to walk away.

"Wait - no, Mell, I didn't mean it like that!" Sounding slightly panicked, Rich grabbed his shoulder, spinning Michael back around. "I wasn't trying to be an ass. I just, um..." Rich looked down at his feet, then jolted (something Michael now realized as the Squip's "spinal stimulation"), looking back up to meet Michael's eye. "Nevermind. I'm sorry, man. I want you to come over some time, really. How about it?"

" **Say yes. You need to be on good terms with Rich if you want the popular people to like you."**

Michael ignored him. "Maybe, Rich." He said, giving Rich a half smile before continuing down the hallway.

 **"Michael,"** Jeremy's voice said disapprovingly. **"Why didn't you listen to me?"**

 **"Rich was an ass to me for years! And Jeremy!"** Michael folded his arms. **"I'm not gonna forgive him just because he invites me over to play video games."**

**"You don't have to forgive him. Just pretend you have."**

**"But I can't just lie to him!"**

**"Lying is a key component of popularity!"** Squip-Jeremy was starting to become frustrated with him, and there was a bite to his normally smooth voice. " **Come on, man, if the popular kids told the truth all the time, they wouldn't be popular! You need to get over yourself and listen to me, or you're gonna be a loser for the rest of your life!"** He squinted at Michael. " **What's that wounded look for?"**

Michael's throat felt dry, and he couldn't stop staring, his breathing slightly shaky. " **Nothing."** He said quietly. He cleared his throat, swallowing past the lump in his throat. " **It's just... with the way you were talking. You sounded a lot like Jeremy. And it was weird for him to be saying that to me. That's all."**

Squip-Jeremy's annoyed look melted, and it was replaced by a smug expression **. "I told you I'd been adapting his speaking patterns. Pretty soon you won't even be able to tell us apart."**

And if _that_ wasn't a scary idea, Michael thought as he continued down the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like it please comment! Y'alls comments make my day


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day takes an unexpected - and unwelcome - turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhh this chapter is a goddamn mess but the next one will be better I promise. Warning for non-consensual kissing I guess?
> 
> Also, Christine Canigula? Yeah, I'd die for her

The first half of Michael's day was largely the same as any other; Squip-Jeremy made him sit in the front of each classroom instead of the back, but he still spent most of each period only half paying attention. He felt slightly uncomfortable without his old headphones to drown out uncomfortably loud noise in the hallway, but he powered through it.

When he entered the cafeteria after 3rd period, the Squip spoke up for the first time since the beginning of the day. **"Sit with Rich."** He ordered.

Michael made a face. " **But I want to sit with Jeremy. I haven't seen him since yesterday at the mall."** Michael glanced over at their usual lunch table, and then did a double take when he saw that it was empty. " **Where is he?"**

**"He's spending lunch in the library."**

Michael frowned. " **That... doesn't sound like Jeremy."**

Squip-Jeremy ignored him. **"Do as I say. Remember, you're trying to ignore me right now. Rich wants to make it up to you for bullying you, so he'll let you sit with him."**

Michael glanced over at the popular table nervously. Rich and Jake were sitting there, as well as Brooke and Chloe, which was to be expected, but what Michael wasn't expecting was to see Christine Canigula perched in the chair next to Jake. **"What is she doing there?"** Michael said, unable to keep the disdain from his voice. He knew it wasn't fair of him to not like her; he barely knew anything about the girl. But having Jeremy constantly gushing about her for two years make Michael grow somewhat resentful of her. Which was stupid, because he'd never even _spoken_ to the girl.

**"I think her and Jake are flirting with eachother."**

**"Oh."** He said blankly. Jeremy definitely wasn't going to be happy that he'd missed his chance with Christine. **"Okay, fine, I'll go sit with them today. But I'm gonna text Jeremy to let him know where I am first."** Michael began to pull his phone out of his pocket, but yelped and dropped it back in when a zap went down his spine.

 **"Are you a moron?"** Squip-Jeremy hissed, making a flush creep up Michael's face. **"I just said that we're ignoring me right now. Go sit with Rich. Don't say anything, just sit confidently, as if you've been doing it all your life."**

Michael sighed. **"Alright."** He said defeatedly. " **You sure nobody will be upset if I sit over there?"**

**"Who cares if they'll be upset? Just do it and stop arguing."**

**"Fine, Jesus."** Michael took a deep breath and approached the popular table. Taking Squip-Jeremy's advice, he sat next to Rich without a word.

Rich glanced over at him, and to Michael's surprise, his face lit up. "Yo, Mell!" He said, drawing the attention of the other four people at the table. "What's going on, man?"

Jake tilted his head confusedly, and Chloe glanced him up and down with a disgusted look on her face. But Brooke smiled at him. "What are you doing here, Michael?" She asked, not unkindly.

Off of Squip-Jeremy's instructions, he replied. "I thought you might want to hang out, since I had to leave so soon yesterday."

Brooke giggled. "Oh. Cool." 

"So, you've considered my XBox offer then, huh?" Rich said, leaning back and propping his feet on the table.

Chloe made a face. "God, get your feet off the table, Rich. We're eating here."

Rich ignored her. "What do you say, Mell? Today after school?" He lowered his voice. "You know, with the Squip, the only controller you need is your mind."

Before Michael was able to reply to that, Christine suddenly gasped. "Wait, I know you!" She said, a smile breaking out on her face. "You're Jeremy Heere's best friend!"

"I - yeah." Michael said, startled at her sudden outburst. "How did you know?"

"You were with him before play rehearsal yesterday! And I've seen you talking around the halls. Jeremy is really sweet. He listened to me talk and didn't get impatient when I started to ramble. I tend to get off topic a lot. I like a lot of things." She giggled, tucking her hair behind her ear.

Any coldness that Michael was still feeling towards Christine immediately evaporated. He could already tell that this girl didn't have a rude bone in her body, and he was feeling slightly guilty for passing judgement on her so quickly. "I get that. I get excited about things, too. Like, yesterday, at Spencer's gifts, I -" Michael cut off, clamping down on his lower lip as a shock jolted through his back. Right. He couldn't talk about nerdy stuff anymore.

Christine continued, seemingly not having noticed what happened. "There are so many cool things to do here. I just can't help but be excited about it!"

Jake let out a fond sigh, wrapping an arm around Christine's shoulder. "I think people have noticed, Chris."

"Oh." Christine let out a sheepish, slightly awkward laugh. "Sorry. I get excited. I just love play rehearsal so much!"

Sitting at the popular table was not nearly as bad as Michael thought it was going to be. For once Rich wasn't making fun of him, and Jake and Christine were actually fairly pleasant company. Things were a little bit awkward with Brooke and Chloe after he ditched then yesterday at Pinkberry, and Michael could tell that Chloe still didn't really like him, but he didn't think that Chloe really liked anybody. He didn't really mind.

But throughout the whole lunch period he could still feel the Squip's ever-lingering presence in his brain, a harsh reminder that the only reason these people were even talking to him was because he was being fed lines by a supercomputer. Really, wasn't that just pathetic? Not to mention the guilt he felt for not talking to Jeremy all day.

 **"Something happened."** Squip-Jeremy suddenly said. **"Look at your phone, then leave the cafeteria."**

**"Why?"**

**"When will you stop questioning me and start doing what I say? Just go. Don't say anything to anybody."**

**"Fine."** Michael obeyed, fishing his phone out of his pocket and glancing at it before standing from the table and leaving the cafeteria.

"Michael? Where are you going?" Brooke called after him.

**"Ignore her."**

Michael did.

*****

"So, what are we doing out here?" Michael said aloud when they got outside, sitting down and leaning against the brick wall of the school.

Squip-Jeremy sat, cross-legged, across from him. It was odd to see him in such a casual position; until now, the Squip had always stood, stock-still, next to Michael as he gave him instructions. But seeing him, perched across from Michael with his back hunched and his chin in his hand just made him feel that much more like the real Jeremy. " **I can't tell you right now. But we're waiting for Brooke to come after you to make sure you're okay."**

"Well, what am I supposed to do until then?" 

" **You can always talk to me. Oh, come on,"** He added at Michael's snort. " **Just because you're not talking to the real Jeremy doesn't mean you can't talk to me. I've had enough time to perfect his speaking patterns, so I'm just as good as the real thing."**

 **"** I... dunno, man." Michael said. "It just feels kinda weird."

 **"Well, it's not like you have anything else to do."** Michael ignored him, and they were both silent for a few moments, Michael idly scrolling through his phone.

Squip-Jeremy eventually broke the silence. **"Hey,"** he said with a small smile, making Michael glance up at him. " **Remember when we tried to watch "Big Mouth" after we smoked a bunch of weed?"**

Michael couldn't help but laugh at the memory. "Yeah. You were so high, you thought it was live action and freaked the hell out." 

" _Michael, why are their mouths so big??" Jeremy had demanded, his pupils blown wide and his voice earnest. "It's not... that's not natural. They need to go to the doctor. Their mouths shouldn't be ex... exploit... exploited for views."_

**"Then your mom walked into the basement and we had to pretend we weren't stoned off our asses."**

"I think she probably knew, but she didn't have the heart to tell us." Michael felt all of the tension that had built up over the past day in a half deep out of his back as he laughed with his friend. Even though he knew it wasn't the the real Jeremy, it had been so long since he'd seen his best friend that even joking around with Squip-Jeremy made him feel some semblance of normal. "Cartoons on drugs are scary, man. I tried watching 'Adventure time' while smoking a blunt, and -"

 **"Brooke's coming."** Squip-Jeremy interrupted sharply. **"It's show time. Tear ducts activated."**

"What do you -"

And suddenly Michael was sobbing - ugly, choked gasps were leaving his throat as tears streamed down his face. " **What did you do??"** Michael demanded in his head, the tears making it impossible to talk. The Squip didn't answer.

Bitch.

"Michael!" Brooke was instantly at his side. "I've been looking for you!"

"I'm sorry," Michael managed to choke out. "I, um -" 

Before Michael could come up with a reasonable explanation for why he was suddenly sobbing his eyes out behind the school, Brooke cut it. "I totally understand why you left the cafeteria, Michael. They're saying it was a freak hockey accident."

"What are you talking about?" Michael said, wiping the tears from his cheek with a shaky hand. 

Brooke's mouth fell open. "You don't know?"

"No." Michael shrugged helplessly. 

"Eminem is dead!!"

"What?" The Squip muttered something behind him, and then he was sobbing even harder than before. 

"Yeah." Brooke said solemnly. "I was never that into him because he was, like, super old, and kind of mean to women, but I know you liked him."

Michael ignored her. **"You knew this was gonna happen!"** He accused the Squip. **"That's why you made me wear this shirt!"**

**"I knew that it was a possibility. And I knew that you being upset over Eminem's death could be good for you."**

**"Good for me _how??"_**

"Michael," Suddenly Brooke's hand was on his knee, and her voice was low and husky. "You don't have to be alone right now."

And suddenly Brooke lunged toward and her lips were on his, and Michael was vaguely aware of making a strangled noise in his throat before his limbs moved on their own accord, his arms wrapping their arms around her hips and his lips moving in tandem with hers.

Panic bubbled up in Michael's chest like boiling oil. **"What are you doing??"** He demanded. He tried to retract his arms, only to find they were frozen in place, as if they were full of lead. **"I don't want to kiss Brooke, let my arms go!"**

 **"Nope."** Jeremy-Squip's voice was smug, and Michael wanted to scream, or cry. " **You need to date one the popular girls to get yourself popular."**

**"But I don't feel any attraction to Brooke! That's just... that's just cruel, to lead her on like that! Please, let me go!"**

But there was no need, because Brooke pulled back, and Michael regained control of him limbs once more. "Michael?" She said uncertainly. "Was that alright?"

"I'm - Brooke, I'm so sorry -" Before the Squip could reply for him, if he was even going to, Michael took a few stumbling steps back and turned on his heel, running back into the school and into the now abandoned hallway. He collapsed on the floor, leaning against the lockers, his chest heaving. "That wasn't okay." He said firmly, looking up at Squip-Jeremy. "You didn't even ask me before you did that."

 **"It's not always going to be up to you, Michael."** He said calmly. **"My choices are only made to benefit you and help you reach your goal, whether you like it or not. Unless you've changed your mind, because I'd be happy to remind you."**

"Shut up." Michael snapped, putting his head in his knees. "That was out of line, and you know it."

" **And what do you suggest I do instead?"**

"Ugh, I dunno! Can you just give me, like, five minutes? Alone? I need to think."

Michael heard Squip-Jeremy sigh, as if he knew that arguing with Michael in this state would be useless. **"Of course."** There was a small zap sound, and when Michael glanced up, he was gone.

Michael put his head back down, hugging his knees tightly. God, he was really having second thoughts about this. Was being cool really worth all of the exhaustion of pretending to be someone he wasn't? Not to mention the Squip forcing him to feign attraction to Brooke. The whole thing just felt wrong. Not for the first time, he questioned if getting the Squip was a good idea.

"... Michael?"

Michael looked up and scoffed angrily when he saw Squip-Jeremy staring at him uncertainly. Apparently "five minutes" was different in Squip time. "I thought you were going to leave me alone." He said, giving him a glare.

"L-leave you alone? Michael - did I do something to make you mad? Because you left me at the mall yesterday, and you've been ignoring me all day today -"

Wait, what?

The Jeremy across from him was tripping over his words, and he was hunched over, fiddling with the hem of his cardigan with his bottom lip between his teeth. Michael realized with a sinking feeling that this wasn't the Squip that he'd been talking to for the past day and a half. 

This was the real Jeremy. And Michael had royally screwed up.

"Jere, oh my god." Michael choked out, lunging forward and throwing his arms around Jeremy's shoulders, enveloping him a tight hug. Jeremy inhaled sharply, then wrapped his arms gently around Michael in return. After two days of hearing nothing but Squip-Jeremy's insults hurled at him, being in the arms of the real Jeremy Heere filled Michael with relief. "It's so good to see you."

"Really?" Jeremy pulled away from the hug, looking up at Michael with a pained expression. "Be-because you left me at the mall yesterday and I had to ride the bus home, and you haven't answered any of my texts, and every time I tried to talk to you today you just kept walking. You didn't even sit with me at lunch."

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. "You were in the library at lunch. And you haven't texted me at all since the mall."

"What are you talking about? I wasn't in the library, I was at our table, like always. And I've texted you like a dozen times. Check your phone."

"But I haven't gotten any notifications from -" Michael pulled his phone out of his pocket to check his messages and went silent when he saw with a start that he did indeed have 13 missed messages from Jeremy, dating back to yesterday after school.

_5:47 pm_  
_Hey, did you get the crystal Pepsi yet?_

_5:53 pm_

_Come back to the table, I already finished the chili fries_

_6:02 pm_

_Michael? You die or something? 😂😂_

_6:03 pm_

_Answer_

_6:17 pm_

_Michael? Seriously i need a ride home so answer your phone_

_6:18 pm_  
_Michael_

_6:28 pm_  
_okay the mall is closing soon so im just gonna take the bus but you better apologize when we get to school 😡😡_

_7:15 am_  
_Are giving me a ride to school today?_

_7:16 am_  
_Okay guess youre still not answering your phone. Gonna assume you lost it and you havent been kidnapped_

_8:24 am_  
_Mike? why are you ignoring me? are you mad at me?_

_8:25 am_  
_Whatever i did im really sorry_

_8:25 am_  
_Please answer me_

_8:28 am_  
_Please talk to me at lunch ok? I need to know youre alright_

Michael scrolled through the missed texts, feeling sick. God, he had _completely_ forgotten that he was supposed to drive Jeremy home from the mall yesterday. What kind of shit friend was he? Why hadn't he seen any of Jeremy's texts?

" **It's called optic nerve blocking**."

Michael jumped at the Squip's sudden return. **"What?"**

**"I have access to your optic nerves. I've been blocking Jeremy from your field of vision."**

**"You've been _what?_ Why?"**

**"Because you need to ignore Jeremy to make him miss you. I knew if you saw him your resolve would break, and you'd talk to him again. I figured the easiest way to fix the problem was to get rid of it entirely. I can now see that this is not the method you'd prefer, so I guess I'll stop."**

Before Michael had time to process how fucked up that was, Jeremy put a hesitant hand on his shoulder. "Seriously, man, what's going on? This... isn't like you. Is everything okay?"

**"Don't tell him that the Squip is working. Tell him a vague lie. Make him unsure if you're mad at him or not."**

**"And if I don't?"**

Squip-Jeremy chuckled. **"If you don't? Oh, Michael, I could make thosen spinal stimulation hurt a lot more if I wanted to. I'd advise doing as I say."**

Michael gulped. "I'm okay, Jere." He said, giving him a gentle smile. "I'm sorry for ditching you at the mall. I've just had a lot on my mind."

"So, you're not mad at me?" Jeremy smiled hopefully.

Before Michael could **reassure him, Squip-Jeremy cut in yet again. "Don't confirm or deny. Make him squirm."**

"I - I don't want to talk about it. Can we just forget today?"

Jeremy's face fell, and guilt churned in Michael's stomach. "Oh. Okay." Jeremy looked at his feet, playing with the hem of his sweater again. "Whatever you say, Mike."

God, Michael was a piece of shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mt friend and I made a headcanon that Jeremy would unironically use emojis and I cant stop thinking about it
> 
> Comment with thoughts/suggestions!


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael is refusing to back down, so the squip has to find other ways to persuade him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh sorry for the long-ass wait I became a will roland simp and it took over my life but here's the chapter

Per Michael's request, the Squip had stopped blocking Jeremy from his vision, albiet reluctantly. The Squip still insisted that ignoring Jeremy completely was the best way to get his attention, but Michael refused. There was no way he'd be able to do that to his best friend.

Admittedly, his current situation with Jeremy wasn't much better. Michael hadn't completely cut his best friend off, but he was so busy navigating his newfound popularity and his relationships with his new friends that he hardly had time to talk to Jeremy. And any time he did try to spend time with Jeremy, his Squip would make sure their conversation didn't last long by giving Michael punishments in the form of harsh, electric shocks. And the whole situation made him feel absolutely horrible, because he could tell that his absense was hurting Jeremy, despite his reassurances that he was happy for Michael. 

And to top all of that off, he hadn't talked to Brooke since the whole incident behind the school. Even though she had kissed him, Michael still felt that the whole situation was his fault, that he shouldn't have led Brooke on, and he should have done a better job at rejecting her advanced.

" **No, you shouldn't have."** Squip-Jeremy cut in, and Michael jumped. He still wasn't used to the Squip being able to hear his every thought. 

Michael grit his teeth. **"What are you on about now?"**

**"You should have kissed Brooke back, Michael."**

Michael sighed. **"Will you ever stop lecturing me about that?"**

**"Not until you actually start listening to me."**

**"No."** Michael folded his arms, determined. **"I'm not gonna ask Brooke out. I'm gay. There's no way I'd ever be attracted to her, and it wouldn't be right of me to do lead her on."**

**"Brooke is used to having her heart broken by boys she likes."** Squip-Jeremy said dismissively. " **She'll be fine."**

**"That's even worse!"**

"Mell." Michael's internal argument was interrupted by Rich, who he was currently sitting next to in the cafeteria. "You good?"

Michael glanced back at his and Jeremy's table. Jeremy was sitting there with Christine, and the two of them were pouring over what looked like the script of the play they were doing. Ever since Jeremy first started doing the play, he and Christine had grown closer, something that Michael told himself he wasn't bothered about, especially since he was hanging out with the popular crowd now.

Michael tore his eyee away from Jeremy to look back at Rich. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just, you know..." Michael tapped his forehead.

Rich furrowed his eyebrows in understanding. "It giving you shit?" Michael nodded. "Yeah. It's a bit of a pain in the ass the first few days, but you'll get used to it. Trust me, dude, it's gonna help you in the long run."

Having civil conversations with Rich was something Michael didn't think he'd ever be used to. He still flinched whenever Rich passed him in the hallway, half expecting the teen to shove him into a locker.

He went back to his internal argument with Squip-Jeremy. " **I'm not doing it, that's final."**

**"I'll shock you if you don't."**

**"I don't care."**

Squip-Jeremy paused for a moment, seemingly thinking. **"Okay. I can see you're not gonna budge here. If I can't get you to do it by hurting you, maybe I can by hurting someone else."**

Michael rolled his eyes. " **Nice try, but you're in my head, dipshit, you can't hurt anyone else-"**

**"Up up down down left right A."**

Suddenly Rich seized up beside him, his eye twitching. His head gave a few twitches before his face smoothed over into an expression that was scarily void of all emotions. Michael watched in horror as Rich stood jerkily and made his way across the cafeteria. **"What are you doing to him??"** Michael demanded.

**"You'll see."** Squip-Jeremy's voice was incredibly smug.

Rich continued to make his way robotically across the cafeteria, and Michael realized that the Squip was piloting Rich towards the back if the room, where Jeremy was sitting alone, Christine having gone to the library.  **"What the hell are you doing?"** The squip didn't reply. This wasn't going to end well.

"Tall ass!" Rich suddenly shouted, slamming his hand onto Jeremy's table. Several people started, whipping around to look at Rich.

Jeremy flinched violently, dropping the book he was reading onto the table. "Yes?" He said immediately, and Michael cringed at the fear in Jeremy's voice.  **"Are you making Rich do that??"**

**"Sure am."**

**"Stop it! You're making Jeremy upset!"**

**"Not until you agree to ask Brooke out."** ****

**"No!"**

Squip-Jeremy just smirked, giving his wrist a small flick.

Rich jolted again, then lunged forward to pull Jeremy up by the collar of his shirt. Squip gave Michael a smug smile, and Michael wanted to scream. "I don't like losers in my cafeteria, Heere." Rich sneered, shaking Jeremy roughly.

Jeremy looked absolutely terrified. The color had drained from his face, and he was squirming in a desperate attempt to leave Rich's grasp. "Please, stop, I'm sorry. I'll give you my lunch money, whatever you want, just please don't hit me." He said, his voice squeaking.

**"Feel like listening to me now?"** Squip-Jeremy said casually, holding his hand up as he continued to pilot Rich into tormenting Jeremy.

**"I can't! It wouldn't be fair to me or Brooke, I'm not doing it!"**

**"Very well, then."**

Squip Jeremy gave his hand a jerk, and Rich punched Jeremy square in the jaw. Jeremy gave a whimper of pain, his teeth clenching tightly at his bottom lip.  **"Stop!"** Michael said in horror, feeling his heart constrict at the sight of Jeremy in pain. Michael tried to stand up to go help Jeremy, only to find that his feet were frozen in place.  **"Let me go!"**

**"Ask out Brooke, then."**

**"No!"**

Squip-Jeremy clenched his fist, and Rich punched Jeremy again, harder this time. 

Jeremy cried out, a tear streaking down his cheek. He spat out a mouthful of blood, looking desperately around the cafeteria for someone to help him. When nobody came to his defense, Jeremy let out a small sob, and Michael couldn't take it anymore.  **"Okay, fine! I'll ask out Brooke, just leave Jeremy alone!"**

**"There, that wasn't so hard, was it?"** With one final flick, Squip-Jeremy let go of Rich's body. Rich's fist loosened, causing Jeremy to slip from his grasp and fall onto the floor. Rich stepped back, and his blank expression was replaced with a horrified one. "Heere, I… I didn't… I don't know why I..." Rich looked at a loss for words. He reached his hand towards Jeremy, and Jeremy scooted backwards until he slammed against the wall, his hand cupping his jaw protectively. Rich dropped his hand. "Heere," he said, his voice full of guilt, "Shit, I'm sorr-"

Rich jolted, his hand coming up to smack the back of his neck, and Michael knew that his Squip must be reprimanding him. His expression hardened. "I'm sorry I didn't hit you harder, queer." Rich turned and left the cafeteria, giving Jeremy one last kick to the ribs. Jeremy flinched, recoiling further against the wall. Michael was dying to go help him, but the Squip was still keeping his legs frozen firmly in place. He couldn't believe that he had ever even wanted a squip in the first place. Right now, all he wanted was for his Squip to be gone.

**"Oh, don't be dramatic, Michael."** Squip-Jeremy said airily.  **"I'm the best thing that's ever happened to you. Now, let's get to work."**

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment with thoughts/suggestions <33


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brooke and Michael have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I get an F for Brooke in this one lads

Michael's hands were shaking as he stood behind the school, where he had asked Brooke to meet him earlier that day. God, why was he so nervous? It's not like he was gonna be marrying the girl. Dating Brooke for a little while wouldn't be so bad, would it? It's not like kissing her was  _ repulsive _ or anything, and she wasn't bad company either. Maybe she wouldn't even say yes.

**"She will say yes."** Squip-Jeremy interjected. and Michael rolled his eyes. Right on time. It had almost been too long since he had shown up to annoy the shit out of him.

**"You don't know that."**

**"Well, why would she have kissed you if she didn't want to date you?"**

**"I don't know!"** Michael said defensively.  **"I just… this all seems so stupid. You said this will make Jeremy jealous, but that doesn't even make sense. He doesn't care if I date anyone, he's straight!"**

**"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Michael."**

Michael froze **. "Wait, what?"**

**"Based on the research I've done, Jeremy feels physical attraction to both men and women."**

**"I…"** That couldn't be right. How would the Squip even know that?" He was just saying that so Michael would go along with his plan.  **"You're lying to me, you asshole."**

**"I'm not. I have access to Jeremy's internet history, and he's been on several websites that make explicit videos primarily targeted towards gay men, as well as videos for straight men, which would-"**

**"Woah, okay, stop, stop!"** Michael said hurriedly, feeling a flush rapidly climb up his cheeks. Wow, okay, that was  _ definitely  _ news to him. He loved Jeremy, but he didn't need detail on his best friend's masturbation habits.  **"Jesus, I don't need to know all of that. So you're saying… Jeremy is bisexual?"**

**"There's a high probability, yes."**

Michael exhaled shakily, raking a hand through his hair. If that really  _ was  _ the case… did that mean that Michael actually had a shot? Sure, Jeremy had a crush on Christine now, but the idea that his crush on Jeremy might not be as hopelessly one-sided as he thought? Maybe the Squip  _ was  _ actually just trying to help him with this whole Brooke thing...

A thought struck Michael, and he frowned.  **"... Wait, why were you looking at Jeremy's search history to see if he was watching porn?"**

**"I wasn't specifically looking for pornography. I was looking for any information that would help you. He's your target male, I need as much data on him as possible."**

**"Wow, okay, kinda creepy-"**

**"Brooke is coming."** Squip-Jeremy cut Michael off harshly.  **"Follow my lead. We have to make this convincing."**

**"Oh- okay."**

Right on cue, the back door to the school open and Brooke's head peered around, her face uncertain. "Michael?" She said.

"Hey, Brooke." He said, his smile only a little but strained. "Come here?"

As Brooke made her way towards him, Michael felt his heart rate start to increase again. There was so much that could go wrong here. What if he ended up hurting Brooke by doing this? What if she wanted to have sex with him, and he wasn't able to do it? What if he screwed something up with her and ended up even more unpopular than he started?

**"Quit panicking, Michael."** Michael could practically hear the eyeroll in Squip-Jeremy's voice.  **"Everything is going to be fine, as long as you listen to me."**

"Hey, Michael." Brooke said, giving him a slightly hesitant smile. "I'm… really happy you asked me to meet you."

"You are?"

"Well, I mean, yeah. Because we haven't talked ever since we kissed a few days ago, and I was worried that I'd made you angry." Brooke bit her lip uncertainty. "You're… not angry with me, right?"

"What? No, of course not, why would I be mad?"

"Well, you kissed me back, but then you ran away from me. I guess I was kinda getting mixed signals."

Shit. Michael really could have handled that better. Now he'd made Brooke needlessly worry that she'd done something wrong. "I'm really sorry, Brooke." Michael said. Then, off of Squip-Jeremy's prompting, he added, "I wasn't upset about the kiss, I was just surprised." 

Brooke tilted her head. "About…?" She prompted gently.

"About, uh…" 

**"That anyone popular would want to date a loser like you."**

Michael flinched slightly. There was the word 'loser' again. "That… anyone popular would want to date a loser like me." He repeated. 

"Michael…" Brooke said sympathetically, stepping closer to him and running a hand across his arm.  _ Wow, Brooke is very touchy,  _ Michael thought absently, trying to distract himself from his thumping heart. "I never thought you were a loser. I mean, I thought you were gay for a while-"  _ Can't imagine why -  _ "But obviously that isn't true, because you dated Madeline and everything. But... when we were at the mall, instead of looking at Chloe, you looked at  _ me.  _ That hardly ever happens to me. I mean, Chloe is my best friend, but I'm tired of always being  _ second  _ to her, you know?" Brooke's hand moved from his arm to his chest, her other hand reaching up to comb through his hair. 

Michael felt a stab of sympathy for Brooke. He always thought he and Jereny had it bad, but constantly living in the shadow of Chloe Valentine couldn't be easy. No wonder she clung to Michael so quickly.

**"Kiss her."**

Michael almost jumped  **"What? Why?"**

**"She's getting more affectionate, she's clearly interested. Girls like Brooke respond more to physical cues than verbal ones."** When Michael still made no move to kiss her, Squip-Jeremy huffed impatiently, and suddenly Michael's limbs were moving without his permission again, his arms moving to Brooke's hips and his lips surging forward to connect with hers. Brooke made a muffled noise of surprise, then her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders.  **"Jesus, I was gonna do it!"**

**"You were taking too long. Just let me handle this. I can't risk you screwing it up."**

**"Asshole."**

Brooke eventually pulled away from the kiss, and she looked up at Michael hopefully. "So does that mean… you want to try this?" She said, reaching down and lacing their fingers together.

_ No.  _ Everything in Michael was screaming in protest. It wasn't too late to turn back, he could still say no…

**"No you can't. You don't have a choice. If you don't cooperate, I have ways of making you."**

Wow, Michael really didn't like the implications of that.

"Yeah, it does." Michael said, squeezing Brooke's hand back. Brooke's face lit up, and guilt bubbled in Michael's stomach like boiling oil. 

"Oh. Okay. Cool." Brooke giggled, leaning up to peck Michael's cheek. "So… wanna head back to the cafeteria?" She said with a smile, swinging her hand in his

Michael forced himself to smile back. "Yeah. Let's go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I asked my friends if they thought Jeremy would watch gay porn, and one of them said that "he would but he would say he watched it ironically" and its one of the funniest things that has ever been said to me
> 
> Please comment with thoughts/suggestions <3


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy can have a lil happiness in this chapter... As a treat

Michael could feel the dozens of pairs of eyes on him as he entered the cafeteria, hand in hand with Brooke. He didn't blame them; seeing the weird, dorky gay kid paired up with one of the most popular girls in school had to be a pretty weird sight. Michael felt himself slightly flustered at their incessant staring, but Brooke didn't seem to pay them any mind. She just tightened her grip on Michael's hand and led him over to their usual table, where Chloe, Jake, and Christine were already seated.

"Hi, guys!" Christine said, giving them a smile and an enthusiastic wave as they sat down. "I was wondering where you were. I thought maybe you were skipping with Jeremy, since he's not here either-"

"Wait, Jeremy's not here?" Michael interrupted with a frown. He had been so worried about the whole thing with Brooke that he hadn't even noticed. God, some friend he was.

Christine's face fell. "No." She said sadly. "Nobody's seen him since yesterday, when Rich punched him in the cafeteria. I tried texting him, but he hasn't responded. He didn't even show up to play rehearsal."

"Yeah. I'm not really friends with the Jerry kid, but that was messed up." Chloe said idly, examining her perfectly manicured fingernails. "Rich totally freaked out. He's in detention right now because of it."

"Oh." Michael couldn't help but feel bad for Rich. Really, it was Michael's fault that Jeremy got beat up, and Rich just happened to be dragged into it by Michael's Squip. And now Rich was in detention, and it was all Michael's fault.

**"You could have avoided this by just listening to me sooner."**

**"Jesus, shut up!"** Michael never thought the sound of Jeremy's voice would fill him with so much anger, but everything else was so fucked up in his life, so why not?

**"My, my, someone has a bad attitude today."**

Michael wanted to scream.  **"Well, maybe seeing my best friend get his ass kicked and having to date someone I have zero feelings for made me a bit irritable, but that's just a guess."**

"So, are you and Brooke a thing now?'

"Huh?" Michael was pulled out of his thoughts at Jakes's sudden question. Jake was looking at him curiously, eyeing his and Brooke's intertwined hands. "Oh, uh, yeah! We're dating." Brooke beamed at him, and the guilty feeling was back in the pit of his stomach.

"Really? Cause Rich told me you were… you know…" Jake trailed off, raising his hand and pointing his wrist downward uncertainly.

If Michael was in a better mood, he would have laughed. "Gay?" He said wryly. 

"Well, yeah."

"Who hasn't Rich called gay, Jake?"

Jake laughed. "Good point."

Lunch was fairly uneventful. Christine chattered about how excited she was for the play for a large portion of it, which Michael found endearing. He could see why Jeremy was so drawn to her. Everything she said sounded so genuine, and you could hear the passion behind every word she said. You didn't meet many people like that in highschool. Jeremy used to be like that, too.

Michael wondered what Jeremy was doing right now.

**"You could text me and ask."** Squip-Jeremy spoke up suddenly

Michael scoffed internally.  **"Thought you didn't want me to talk to Jeremy."**

**"Well, yes, but we were doing that to make me jealous. And now that you and Brooke are an item, we have other ways to do it. As long as your interactions with me aren't around other people, I see no reason to keep ignoring me."**

**"Wait, are you serious? You're gonna let me talk to him?"** Michael sat up a bit straighter in his seat. 

**"As long as you don't mention that the Squip is working."**

Michael's mind was racing as he pulled his phone out to text Jeremy. God, Jeremy was sure to be so mad at him. What would Michael even say?  _ Hey, man, sorry for treating you like garbage and letting you get your ass kicked yesterday without even trying to stop it. Also, I know I told you I was gay, but I have a girlfriend now! Wanna play Apocalypse of the Damned?  _ It sounded awful, even in his head. He had to apologize, seriously. And he couldn't do it over text, it had to be in person.

Eventually he settled for,  _ "Hey, Jeremy. Can you come over after school? I need to talk to you." _ Short, simple, to the point. He just hoped Jeremy would hear his apology.

Michael stared at his phone. There was typing on Jeremy's end for a few seconds, then it stopped. Then typing again.

_ Player2<3: ok. _

Yikes. Jeremy almost never used punctuation in his texts. He must be really pissed. Rightly so, Michael thought miserably.

He had to find a way to fix this. 

*****

_ Player2<3: im outside. _

Michael winced at the text. Jeremy never asked permission before coming into Michael's house. How much had Michael ignoring him affected Jeremy?

**"We wanted it to affect Jeremy, remember? That was the whole point."**

**"You stay out of this!"** Michael snapped.  **"I don't want your help with this. Can you just leave while I talk to Jeremy, please?"** For once, the Squip didn't argue, just sighed and left with a small  _ zap. _

Michael texted back  _ "coming"  _ to Jeremy and made his way out of the basement and up to the front door. He took a deep breath, composing himself. He had prepared what he was gonna say to Jeremy several times in his head, he just hoped it would be good enough.

He swung open the door, and immediately cringed at how bad Jeremy's face looked. A spectacular greenish-brown bruise had blossomed across his jaw where Rich had punched him, and his lower lip was split open and scabbed over. "Jesus, Jeremy." Michael muttered under his breath.

"Yeah. It's pretty bad, huh?" Jeremy gave a bitter smile, which quickly turned into a grimace. "Rich was wearing a ring, which hurt like hell."

"Shit, Jere, I'm so sorry."

"It's whatever." Jeremy said stiffly. He fiddled absently with the sleeve of his sweater, which Michael knew meant that Jeremy felt uncomfortable. "What did you want?"

"I…" Michael took a deep breath.  _ Here we go.  _ "Look, Jeremy, I know I've been a really shitty friend lately."

"What makes you say that?" Jeremy said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, and Michael flinched. "You gonna explain  _ why  _ you've ditched me for the popular people this week? Or, hell, why the popular people are even talking to you in the first place? Because, no offense, but they've never really shown much interest in you before-" Jeremy suddenly cut off, his jaw dropping. "Oh my god. It worked, didn't it?'

"Wh-what?"

"The Squip. It worked, didn't it? And that's why you left me at the mall, and why you're suddenly buddy-buddy with Rich. The Squip, it's making you popular. And it's making you ditch me."

"Jeremy, I…" Michael was at a loss for words. The Squip specifically told him not to let Jeremy figure out that the Squip worked. What was he supposed to say? "Okay. You're right, the Squip is working." He finally said, desperately hoping that the Squip wouldn't punish him for this when he came back.

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "And you didn't tell me because…?"

"It told me not to."

Jeremy scoffed. "Right. Whatever. Good talk, Michael." 

Jeremy started to turn around. "Wait, no, Jeremy-!" Michael grabbed Jeremy's shoulder, spinning him back around. "Please, listen. I wanted to tell you, I really did. But it told me not to, and I was too scared to not listen to it. I know that isn't an excuse, and I know I've been an asshole this week, and I'm so sorry. I've just had a lot of shit going on. Please, Jeremy, forgive me. I can't go through life without my player two." Michael said desperately.

Jeremy stared at him for a few seconds, his expression unreadable. "So… you really weren't mad at me?" He finally said, his voice incredibly small.

"God, never, Jeremy." Michael said. "I'm so sorry I made you think that. I've… I've really missed you, man." Michael felt a lump in his throat, and he swallowed painfully.

Jeremy hesitated. "And you won't ignore me anymore?"

"I promise." Michael prayed that the Squip would let him keep that promise.

"... Okay. I forgive you." Jeremy gave him a small, hesitant smile, holding his arms out. "Hug it out?" 

"You sap." Michael said, but he was grinning widely as he stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Jeremy's shoulders. 

Jeremy's arms wrapped around Michael's middle. "I missed you too, Mike." He muttered, resting his head on Michael's shoulder. "Wanna go get a slushie or something? Like old times?"

Michael's smile widened. "Yeah. I'd like that."

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst isn't over, I just felt guilty for making Jeremy constantly sad  
> Comment with thoughts and suggestions <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this chapter good? No. Am I gonna post it anyway because I dont care? Yep.

"I never understood why you always got the blue flavor. What the hell even is a blue rasberry?"

Jeremy laughed. "The flavor of the gods." He replied, taking a long drink of his slushie and sticking his tongue out at Michael.

"Put your tongue away, you heathen. You look like you just ate out a smurf."

"Gross. And you call me the horny one."

"You know I'm right." Michael leaned against the counter at the Seven Eleven, taking a sip of his own cherry slushie. He and Jeremy had been there for hours now, just talking, about school, about video games, about everything and nothing. It had only been a little more than a week since he got the Squip, but it felt like years since he'd last had this time with Jeremy. His Squip had been oddly silent ever since Michael told him to leave earlier, but he wasn't gonna complain about it. "Blue rasberrry sucks, Jere, sorry to break it to you."

"You're a bully." Jeremy pouted. "You're not allowed to make fun of my tastes. Cherry slushies taste like cough syrup."

Michael gasped with mock offense. "You take that back!"

"Never. You're the very embodiment of 'The Red Gay' Michael, you're just too afraid to admit it." Jeremy said smugly. 

"Maybe, but you're the very embodiment of the blue gay, so don't act so superior."

Jeremy's smile dropped and his face went pale, and it took Michael a few seconds to realize why. He wasn't supposed to know that Jeremy was bisexual. He clapped a hand over his mouth, but the damage was already done. "Wh-what do you mean?" Jeremy said, his voice deathly quiet. "I'm - did someone- someone say something to you?"

"Shit, no, Jeremy!" Michael desperately tried to backpedal. "I- nobody said anything, I was just, um, joking?" Michael cringed. God, he was an awful liar.

Jeremy's expression didn't change. If anything, it grew even more panicked. "How did you find out?" He whispered. "Am I that obvious? Oh, god, do you think Rich was able to tell? He's never gonna let me hear the end of it-"

"No, Jeremy, that's not it!" Michael put a hand on Jeremy's shoulder in a desperate attempt to comfort him, hating the distress on his face. "Nobody was able to tell, I promise. I didn't even figure it out by myself, my Squip told me. I'm sorry."

Jeremy recoiled slightly. "Your Squip... told you that I'm - that I like guys? It outed me to you?"

Shit. Michael hadn't thought about it that way. He knew how scary it was to come out to people, and now he'd taken it away from the person he cared about the most. Good job, Michael. "Jeremy, I-"

Jeremy shrugged Michael's hand off, stepping backwards. "And... You didn't tell me? That you knew?"

"I didn't want to make you uncomfortable if you weren't ready for me to know! And the Squip didn't want me to say anything about it to you." 

"But you're my best friend, Michael! I want to be able to trust you to tell me when someone says something about me that I don't want you to know."

"I know, Jere, I just-"

Pain shot down Michael's back so suddenly that he gasped, stumbling backwards. The pain felt like a bolt of lighting was striking him, and he felt his heart sink at the feeling that he'd grown all too familiar with over the past week. The Squip was back in his head, and clearly wasn't happy.

"Mike?" The hurt in Jeremy's expression was replaced with concern in a second, and he took a step toward Michael uncertainly. "What happened, are you okay?"

Michael opened his mouth to reassure Jeremy, but whatever he was going to say died in his throat, and he felt his back straighten up on its own accord. Fuck. No. Not now. **"Don't you fucking dare."** But of course, Squip-Jeremy didn't listen.

"Jesus, Jeremy, you're so dramatic." The words spilled from his mouth, and he desperately tried to clamp his lips shut before the Squip was able to do too much damage, but it was no use. He had absolutely no control of what he said next. "You want to be able to trust me? Please. How can you demand trust from me when I can't even trust you?"

"Wh-what do you mean?" Jeremy's hands were trembling, and Michael wanted to cry, because this wasn’t how it was supposed to be, he was supposed to making things right with Jeremy, and now the walmart fucking Jeremy in his head was going to ruin everything.

The words that came from Michael’s mouth next horrified him. “Are you kidding? It runs in the goddamn family. Your mother left you, your dad is a deadbeat, and you think you’re not gonna take after them and leave me behind one day too? And you talk about trust?” 

Jeremy’s face hardened, and he took another step backwards. “Fuck you, Michael.” Jeremy shook his head, his voice low. Michael was helpless to do anything but watch in despair as Jeremy turned around and left the Seven Eleven, chucking his slushie into the garbage can on his way out. 

**“My, my, Michael, you sure have made a mess of things, haven’t you?”**

  
  



	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for mentioned homophobia and f slur

**"What the** **_fuck?"_ ** Michael rounded on Squip-Jeremy furiously. **"Why the hell would you make me say that?"**

**"You deliberately disobeyed several of my instructions, and I had to find a way to get rid of Jeremy as quickly as possible to ensure that you didn't screw anything else up."**

**"And you couldn't think of** **_any_ ** **other way to do that?"** Michael demanded.

**"There were other ways, but this one had the highest probability of success."** Squip-Jeremy said nonchalantly, as if he hadn't completely ruined Michael's relationship with his best friend in one fell swoop. **"I don't see why you're so troubled."**

**"Are you kidding?! Jeremy's never gonna forgive me!"**

**"Incorrect. Jeremy's so desperate for friendship that he'll forgive you for just about anything."** And if _that_ didn't make Michael feel a million times guiltier. **"Trust me, every choice I make is going to benefit you in the long run. Everything is going to be fine with Jeremy if you play your cards right."**

**"Yeah? It sure as hell doesn't feel like-** gah!" Michael cried out as an unexpected jolt of pain hit him.

**"Stop arguing, Michael. I've taken every possible factor into account, and I'm only making choices that are going to help you."** Michael clenched his fists and bit back a snide retort. Arguing with the Squip never got him anywhere, and as much as he hated to admit it, he didn't think he could fix things with Jeremy by himself, not after all the awful things the Squip made him say. **"Now, Jeremy now knows that your Squip is working, which isn't ideal, but things can still be fixed. We just need to adjust our strategy a bit."**

**"What are you talking about? What even is our strategy?"**

**"Getting popular, while also gaining Jeremy's affections. I've come up with a plan."**

Michael pinched the bridge of his nose. **"Let's hear it then."** He said tiredly, knowing there was no point in arguing.

**"Well, I can't tell you all of the specifics yet."** Of course he couldn't. **"But in order for it to work, you have to make your relationships with Brooke convincing. And can't be seen with Rich for the next few days."**

**"What? Why?"**

**"Just trust me. I have everything figured out."**

Michael sighed. **“Why doesn’t that reassure me?”**

********

The moment Michael arrived at school the next day, hand in hand with Brooke, he was immediately flanked by two sophomores he’d never spoken to in his life. “Michael, Brooke, did you hear the news??” One of them demanded.

Michael sighed. “Probably not.” He said tiredly. He was all too used to gossip being spread around the school like wildfire, more often than not by Jenna and Chloe. “What’s the news?”

“Jenna posted it on her twitter last night!” Yep, that’s what he thought. “Rich is gay!”

… Wait, _what?_

Michael opened his mouth, then closed it again. That was the last thing he ever expected to hear. 

He felt Brooke's hand tighten over his own. "Jenna said that?" She said, a slight bite to her normally gentle voice. 

"Yeah! An anonymous source gave her the tip." The sophomore nodded eagerly. An anonymous tip? That couldn't be-

**"You're welcome."**

Michael jumped at the voice in his head. **"Did you do this?"**

**"Sure did. Rich is your biggest competition on the social ladder right now. I'm only trying to help you."**

**"That's not helping me, that's just hurting Rich!"**

Squip-Jeremy didn't reply. Bitch.

"Can you believe it? After bullying other people for being gay for years, turns out he was the gay one! And he hasn't been at school today either. Spread the word!"

The sophomores both scampered away before Brooke or Michael could say anything else, leaving them both standing, dumbfounded, in the middle of the hallway.

Michael looked down at Brooke, who was frowning deeply. "Did you know he was gay?" He asked, although he had a feeling he already knew the answer.

"No." Brooke shook her head, looking sad. "I'm guessing you didn't either?"

"Nope." Michael looked at the floor, feeling troubled. Well, now it made sense why Rich bullied him so much for being gay. And why Rich was so defensive when Michael called him gay in the bathroom. He just didn't want people to suspect him. 

"Should we… check in on him, make sure he's okay?" Brooke said uncertainly, pulling Michael from his thoughts. "Because unless Jenna was wrong, which she hardly ever is, Rich was just outed. He can't be having a great time right now."

She was right. Michael wasn't exactly close to Rich, but he knew how scary it was to be outed, and he was probably the only one who could understand what Rich was going through. He pulled out his phone, where he had saved Rich's number a few days prior. 

_Me: where are you rich? are you okay?_

He watched as the speech bubble appeared on Rich's end, then disappeared, then appeared again.

_That weird short kid: behind school. come meet me_

Michael put his phone away. "I'm gonna go talk to him. I… think he wants me to come alone, I'm sorry-"

"I understand." Brooke gave him a small smile, leaning up and kissing his cheek. "Don't worry, I'll tell Mr. Kendrick you're helping in the library."

God, Brooke really was amazing. "Thank you." He said gratefully, giving her hand a quick squeeze before retracting it and walking back through the door, going to meet Rich behind the school. Michael really did hope he was okay.

Sure enough, when Michael turned the corner, Rich was leaning against the wall, a silver flask in his hand and his head in his knees. "Rich?" Michael said cautiously.

Rich looked up slowly. "Hey." He said quietly. He lifted the flask to his lips and took a long drink, shuddering slightly. "So. How many people are talking about me in there?" At Michael's hesitation, he scoffed wryly. "Yep. That's what I thought."

"Why the alcohol?" Michael slowly sat down next to Rich in the grass, eyeing the flask with apprehension.

"Needed quiet up there. Need to think." Rich's voice was slightly slurred. "Want some?"

"Rich, you're not making any sense."

"Who cares? Not like it matters what anyone thinks of me anymore." Rich said bitterly. He took another drink.

"Rich…" He truly looked pitiful, hunched in the grass with his head on his knees, his eyes bloodshot. Michael couldn't beat around the bush anymore. "Rich, is it true?" Michael didn't need to clarify what he was talking about. 

Rich sighed. "Yeah." A pause. "Well. Maybe? I don't know. I like girls. I'm not gay, but…" Rich sighed, clenching his hair tightly in his fists. "I don't know."

"Do you think you might be bisexual?"

"Bisexual." Another pause. "Huh. Guess that makes sense. Not that matters. Nobody in there is gonna care if I like girls or not, cause I'm gonna be fucking _ruined."_

"Hey…" Michael felt an overwhelming amount of pity for Rich. "I'm sure that's not true-"

"Yes it is, Mell!" Rich snapped, making Michael recoil slightly. "You don't get it, man! When you were openly gay, nobody knew who you were, so you were able to avoid most of it. Jenna's tweet is only 12 hours old, and I've already gotten a message on facebook calling me a faggot, and two people blocked my number, and Jake isn't answering any of my texts, and-" Rich cut off, rubbing at his eyes furiously. He put his head back in his lap, hugging his knees tightly. "I can't go back in there." He said, his voice choked.

"Rich, that's not true. Sure, there's gonna be assholes, but there always are. I know that Brooke definitely doesn't think any differently, and I'm sure Chloe doesn't either. Jake-"

"- Is ghosting me."

"... will probably come around. You know how it is for guys." Michael put a hand on Rich's shoulder. Rich stiffened, but didn't pull away. "Listen, Rich… I'm not gonna lie. It's scary as fuck. But if you go in there and act like you don't give a fuck what they think, it'll make it a little bit easier."

"But I do give a fuck. I give so many fucks." 

"Yeah. Me too." Rich looked up dubiously. "Yeah. Really. I don't act like it, I know. But… would I have taken a Squip if I didn't care what people thought of me?" Rich was silent at that. Michael gave him a small smile. "Wanna go back in there?"

"Not really."

"Come on, man. I believe in you. You're Rich Goranski, king of the school."

Rich nodded slowly. "You're right. I.. I can do this. I have big dick energy."

"That's… not exactly what I meant, but I like the confidence."

Rich laughed. "Come on, Mell." Rich said, nudging Michael's shoulder with his own. "Walk me in?"

Michael smiled back. "You might want to sober up first." He said playfully. "You smell like gasoline."

"Oh, piss off, Mell."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really am tempted to change the ship to Michael/Rich, thoughts?


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh this is the last rich centered chapter I promise

**"Michael, what did I tell you about being seen with Rich?"**

Michael scowled. He was currently walking with Rich to the cafeteria. **"Piss off. Rich going through something, because of** **_you,_ ** **the least I can do is be there for him. I don't even know why you thought outing him would make him less popular, because his friends care about him. They wouldn't drop him for something like that."**

**"If you say so."**

Michael frowned. Squip-Jeremy was being oddly lenient today, and it made Michael uneasy. He was almost certain that the Squip was still plotting something, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. 

"Mell." 

Rich suddenly shot his arm out, stopping Michael in his tracks. They were right outside the cafeteria, and what little bravado Rich had managed to build up outside was gone. His face was pale, and Michael could feel his hand trembling. "Hey, you're gonna be okay, Rich." Michael said reassuringly.

"But- but everyone is gonna be in there, and they're all gonna be judging me, and they're gonna think I'm lame - I-I can't be _lame,_ Michael." Rich looked slightly panicked, and he ran a shaky hand through his hair, making it look even more ridiculous than usual.

"Rich, you won't be. Your friends care about you. It's gonna be okay."

Rich exhaled shakily. "Okay. Okay." He muttered. He bounced once on the balls of his feet, letting out a quick breath. "Right. You're totally right. You're _totally_ right." He took another shaky breath. "Now, let's go in there before I pussy out, okay?" Michael nodded, reaching out and throwing the cafeteria doors open.

It was a lot less dramatic than Michael thought it would be. There was no sudden silence, no collective head turn as they walked towards their table with Brooke, Chloe, Christine, and Jake, no not-so-subtle whispering amongst their peers. A few people stared, and one person snickered, but Rich ignored them, lifting his head up higher as they walked. 

Brooke was the first to notice them approach the table. "Michael!" She said, leaping from her seat and running towards him, giving him a quick kiss on the lips, and Michael felt the familiar guilt swoop uncomfortably in his stomach. Brooke pulled back, and her expression softened. "Hey, Rich." She gave him a small smile, reaching out and putting a hand on his arm. "How are you?"

Rich raised an eyebrow. "Spectacular."

Brooke coughed. "Uh. Right. Come on, sit." Michael sat down next to Brooke, but Rich stayed standing, hovering uncertainly right next to the table. His eyes flicked over Jake nervously. "Come on, Rich." Brooke urged. "Get over here."

"Oh, yeah, for- for sure." Rich slowly took the empty seat next to Jake. Jake coughed, shifting in his chair slightly. "So… what's popping, guys?" He said, his smile looking almost painfully forced.

Christine smiled at him warmly. "Nothing much! We were just talking about the play."

_"You_ were talking about the play." Chloe muttered, not taking her eyes off of her phone.

Christine didn't look troubled by Chloe's snarky retort. "Well, yeah, I guess. But we can talk about whatever you guys want! I don't really mind."

"I liked hearing you talk about the play, Christine." Brooke said kindly. "What were you saying about the script changes?"

Christine went on a rant about how the changes Mr. Reyes made to the script didn't do the original show justice, and the awkward energy in the air slowly started to dissipate. It really was hard to feel uncomfortable around Christine, because she just radiated such positive energy no matter what she was talking about. 

" -And the zombies aren't even realistically portrayed!" She concluded, her face flushed and her arms flung out dramatically. "Can you believe it?"

"I _cannot_ believe it." Rich said, an amused smile on his face. "You care a lot about this, huh?"

"Of course I do! It's _theater!"_ Christine gave an excited giggle, tucking her hair behind her ear, and Michael felt a fond smile spread across his face. What a dork. No wonder Jeremy-

Nope. Thinking about Jeremy was painful.

Christine suddenly gasped. "Oh my god, I just remembered!" She said, clapping a hand against her forehead. "I told Mr. Reyez I'd help with props today! I have to go, bye, guys!"

"Oh, uh, bye-?"

Before anyone could say anything else, she stood from the table and scampered off.

"Huh. She really is something else." Michael said, watching her bolt out of the cafeteria.

"That she is." Rich said, nodding. "I've never met anyone quite like her before. The sheer amount of shit she cares about on a daily basis gives me a headache to think about. I mean, what all is she doing in the play this year? Acting, set, costumes, co-directing-"

"Is it true, Rich?"

Rich's smile dropped. Jake, who hadn't said a word since Michael and Rich first arrived, was looking at Rich, an oddly strained look on his face. 

Rich turned to look at Jake. "Is what true, Jake?" He said, his voice unreadable. Michael cringed. This couldn't go well. 

"That… you're… " Jake lowered his voice, shifting slightly in his seat. "You know, gay?"

"Jake," Brooke said quietly, and Michael felt her hand tighten against his. "Don't."

"I just want to know!"

Rich's expression didn't change. "No, I'm not gay, Jake. I'm bisexual." Michael blinked. He wasn't expecting Rich to admit it so quickly. He felt a surge of respect for Rich as he continued to stare at Jake, not letting himself cower.

Jake sucked in a breath. "Oh." He said, his voice thin.

Rich raised an eyebrow. "'Oh?' That a problem?"

"Well… I mean… no, I just… I mean, you always bullied Mell, and that Jeremy kid, calling them gay and stuff, I just didn't think, um…" Jake shook his head slightly, grimacing. "And, you know, you've slept over at my house a lot and stuff, I just wanted to make sure you didn't, um…"

"Are you fucking serious, Jake?" Chloe said, looking disgusted as she snapped her handheld mirror shut and turned to glare at him. 

"What? I just want to make sure… I mean, I'm straight, I don't want him to have a crush on me or anything." 

Rich flinched, looking down at his lap, and Michael felt a spike of anger. He opened his mouth to speak up, but Chloe beat him to it, cutting in with a cruel laugh. "Jake, ever since we broke up, you haven't managed to pull a _single_ girl. Even that weird theater girl, who likes _everybody,_ doesn't like you. If no girls at this school want to fuck you, what makes you think any of the guys will?" Holy shit. Michael forgot how _ruthless_ she could be.

Jake flushed. "Whatever, Chloe." He sneered. He stood from the table, pulling his backpack over his shoulder and storming off.

Michael turned to look at Chloe in shock. "Oh, look. Trash took itself out." She said, idly examining her nails.

"You… didn't have to do that for me, Chloe." Rich said quietly, his cheeks slightly pink.

"He was being a dick, Rich. Until he can learn to _not_ be a dick, he can't sit over here."

"She's right." Brooke said, nodding earnestly. "We've always got your back, Rich."

Rich smiled. It wasn't his usual half-smirk or cocky grin, it was a real, genuine smile, one that reached his eyes. It was something Michael had never seen from Rich before. "Thanks, you guys."

**"This went much better than I thought it would."**

Michael made a face. **"It** **_did?"_ **

**"My original plan was to tank Rich's reputation, but I hadn't planned on him getting the support from Brooke and Chloe that he did. But Jake has now been kicked temporarily from the table, and presumably the friend group, which means that the top slot in the social ladder is now open."**

**"And… you're saying** **_I'm_ ** **gonna get that top slot?"**

**"If you listen to me, you will. Trust me. I've got this all figured out."** Wow, that was foreboding.

"- got the _cutest_ top, you wouldn't believe it-"

Brooke was now rambling about her trip to the mall on Saturday, and Rich was watching her with amused intrest. "Sounds like fun, Brooke." Rich said. He caught Michael's eye briefly and gave him a wink, before turning to look back at Brooke, and Michael felt an odd warm feeling in his stomach. Suddenly he wasn't so worried about what the Squip was planning anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so like the endgame ship is almost definitely gonna be expensive headphones now haha I love being indecisive
> 
> Please comment with thoughts/suggestions


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Halloween Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw for elements of noncon (the stuff that happens in do you wanna hang)

**"So, it's been long enough. What am I gonna do about Jeremy?"**

School had ended about an hour ago, and Michael was laying on his bed, staring face-up at the ceiling. The Squip hadn't said much of anything to him today, which usually wasn't a good sign. 

**"What do you mean, Michael?"**

**"You know damn well what I mean. How do I get him to like me again?"**

Squip-Jeremy sighed.  **"Didn't I tell you not to worry about it? I have it all figured out, just trust me."**

Michael scoffed.  **"Trust you. Are you serious? You were the one who ruined my relationship with Jeremy in the first place, when you were** **_supposed_ ** **to be making him like me back."**

**"Michael, you have to understand my reasoning here. You're much more popular now, thanks to me, but you're not nearly popular enough to get away with being seen with people like Jeremy. Your reputation needs to be much higher, so that's why I drove Jeremy away."**

**"That's a bunch of bullshit, nobody would care if I talk to-** mmmph!" A shock. Michael bit back a groan.

**"What did I say about arguing with me so much?"**

Michael sighed, running a hand through his hair frustratedly.  **"Well, can you at least tell me a little bit of what you're planning, so I'm not completely in the dark?"**

Squip-Jeremy hesitated.  **"Well… I suppose there's not much harm in that. It all has to do with Jake Dillinger's Halloween party. Nearly the whole school is going to be there, and that's where we need to put our plan into action."**

Michael raised an eyebrow.  **"I thought people were mad at Jake for being a dick to Rich. You still think people will show up?"**

**"Only Brooke and Chloe are mad at Jake right now. And even so, it doesn't matter how mad they are, they'll never pass up one of Jake's parties. Anyway, there is a high probability of Rich doing something at the party that will help you regain Jeremy's affections, so you** **_cannot_ ** **leave that house no matter what."**

Michael frowned.  **"What is Rich gonna do at the party?"**

**"I can't tell you."**

**"Of course you can't."** Michael rolled his eyes.  **"So all I have to do is just… not leave the party, and you'll do the rest?"**

**"Indeed. Everything is going to work out just fine, as long as you listen to me."**

**"Somehow I'm skeptical of that."** Michael said dryly.

***

"Michael! There you are!"

Michael stumbled backwards as Brooke flung herself into his arms, giving him a kiss on the cheek. "Hey, Brooke." He said, stepping back to get a better look at her. "Wow, you look…"

"I know." She said, sounding proud. She gave a spin, showing off her poofy pink skirt. "I figure, you always see people go as sexy cats, but no one ever goes as a sexy dog."

Michael couldn't help but grin at how excited Brooke seemed. "Wow, it's really-"

**"Vague compliment."**

"- really, uh, different." Michael finished. Brooke's smile dropped, and she looked at the floor sheepishly, and Michael immediately felt guilty. "But- but in a good way! It's good-different! You look great, Brooke."

She gave a slightly strained laugh. "Chloe said it was dumb." She shrugged, still looking at the floor. "You need a drink."

"Oh, I don't really-" But Brooke had already hurried away, cheeks slightly pink. Michael sighed. "... drink." Michael put his hands in his pocket, glancing around the crowded room. Jesus, there were a lot of people here, and almost all of them were wasted. People were dancing and singing loudly along to the music that was thumping through the house, beer spilling from clumsily clutched red solo cups. He was so absurdly out of his element that it was almost comical. He saw a pair of seniors grinding against each other in the corner and wrinkled his nose, looking towards the doorway, where he spotted Christine hovering in the doorway, dressed in a princess costume. She looked slightly uncomfortable, and she kept tugging at the end of her puffy blue skirt.

"Christine!" Jake rushed over to Christine and picked her up, spinning her around. "Wow, you look great!"

"Thanks." Christine laughed awkwardly, pulling at her neckline, and Michael felt a twinge of pity for her. Looked like he wasn't the only one feeling out of place tonight. "I, uh, I thought we were going as prince and princess?"

"I  _ am  _ prince!" Jake insisted, holding his arms out. Jake was dressed as… something. He had on a blue tracksuit, white gloves, red shoes, and a spiky blue hat with a crown on top. He did a dramatic spin, smiling proudly. "I'm Prince Sonic!"

Michael blinked.  **"Is that… a real thing?"** He asked Squip-Jeremy uncertainly.  **"Prince Sonic?"**

**"I don't believe it is, no. I think Jake made it up."**

**"Right, that's… that's weird."** Michael gave his head a small shake. He had more important things to worry about. " **So, what am I supposed to do at one of these parties? Am I supposed to dance or something?"**

**"Grab a cup and stand off to the side, but don't drink out of it. We need to keep you sober for now."**

**"Okay, I guess there's- wait, what do you mean "for now?""** Michael paused on his way to the table.  **"Do I have to get drunk later?"** Michael didn't want to get drunk. He'd never been drunk before.

**"It's a possibility, but I don't want to unless it's absolutely necessary. Just follow my lead, and don't drink anything just yet."**

**"Right."** Michael complied, picking up a red solo cup and moving to the corner of the room. Jesus, it was loud. And it smelled in there, too. The combination of sweat, alcohol, and perfume from various people around the room created a scent that was a barrage on Michael's nose. He was tempted to just lock himself in the bathroom and loiter there until the party was over, but he was almost positive that his Squip wouldn't let him do that. So he just stood in the corner, scrolling through his phone and trying to ignore the headache growing near his temple.

"Michael!"

Michael jumped, looking up. Chloe was standing in front of him, her mascara smudged and a baby bottle clutched tightly in her hands. "Oh, uh, hi, Chloe." He said, giving her a hesitant smile. Truth be told, he was still a little bit scared of Chloe, and he still wasn't quite sure whether or not she hated him, but she didn't look upset that he was there.

"Michael, Brooke needs you for something. Upstairs."

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. What did Brooke need with him? Why couldn't she tell him in person? Was she okay? "Alright. Where is she?"

"She's in Jake's parent's room." Chloe said, leading Michael by the hand upstairs. They passed by a couple making out at the top of the stairs before Chloe into the largest room at the end of the hallway. It was the only room in the house that the party hadn't completely trashed yet. "Don't worry, they're not using it."

"Uh… okay." Michael watched apprehensively as Chloe flung herself face-down onto the bed, clutching her bottle tightly to her chest. "So, what's going on?" He asked, glancing around the room. "Where's Brooke?"

"Oh. My. God. You are  _ too  _ freaking adorable." Chloe giggled. Michael raised his eyebrows, and she sat up, leaning forward conspiratorially. Michael raised his eyebrows expectantly "... Brooke's not coming." She spat out.

Michael's confusion grew. "But- but you said she needed me for something, why would you-"

" _ Michael,"  _ She said in a drawn-out whine, laughing drunkenly again. "Come on. Don't act so innocent. I know you want to… want to… come on. You should… hang with me for a bit." 

She winked suggestively, and Michael recoiled, startled. "Chloe, you-you know I'm dating Brooke, and she's your best friend, I couldn't-"

_ "Brooke?!"  _ Chloe suddenly growled, making Michael jump. "Of course, you're just…  _ so loyal  _ to Brooke, aren't you?" She sneered. "Please. You guys haven't even had sex yet. She would have told me. Come onnn, Michael, you know you want me…" She coughed, putting her hand on her chest. "Ugh. I feel sick."

Michael frowned. Chloe was drunk. Extremely drunk. She almost definitely wasn't going to remember this in the morning, so Michael could probably just leave now, no harm done, right? "Uh, Chloe, I appreciate the offer, but… I'm dating Brooke, so I should probably just-" 

But when Michael tried to lift his foot up, he found that, to his horror, it was frozen in place. He couldn't move.

**"You're welcome."** Squip-Jeremy suddenly spoke up smugly.

**"What- no!'** Michael felt his breath catch in his throat. " **I don't want to have sex with Chloe, let me go, please!"** Michael tried to lift his feet again, to no avail. Chloe had stood up from the bed and was slowly making her way towards him.  **"Let me go!"** He repeated desperately.

**"Sorry, but no. Having sex with Chloe will greatly help your reputation."**

**"But- but I-"** Michael felt panic rapidly claw its way up his stomach. He couldn't do this. There was no way. He could hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest as Chloe stumbled towards him.

"Hmm, I don't see you going anywhere, Michael~" She said in a sing-songy voice, reaching out and running a hand over his chest. Her touch felt like fire ants crawling over his skin, but he was frozen in place and couldn't move away from her, no matter how hard he tried. "Do you want to stop being coy?"

"Chloe-" He said nervously, sucking in a sharp breath when she grabbed his collar and pulled him closer to her, running a finger over his lips. "Chloe, you're drunk, and Brooke is your best friend. Please, think about what you're doing-"

Chloe suddenly lunged at him, smashing her lips clumsily against his, and Michael inhaled sharply. He didn't want to do this! He was still frozen in place, helpless to do anything to stop her, and he felt like he was going to cry.  **"Stop."** He begged.  **"Please, stop."**

In response Michael felt a shock go down his back, and suddenly his lips were moving in tandem with Chloe's, his hands moving to her hips. He felt his breath rapidly quicken, tears slowly building behind his eyes.  _ Please, make it stop. _

To his relief, Chloe did pull back eventually, her cheeks flushed. "Wait a minute." She said, walking back to the bed and picking up her baby bottle. "It's not actually milk." She said mischievously, taking a swig from the bottle. "Here." She offered the bottle to him.

"Oh, I don't-" But of course, since Michael never got to make his own choices anymore, his arm extended on its own accord and grabbed the bottle, pouring its contents down his throat. Michael sputtered, coughing. It smelled like piss, and didn't taste much better.  **"What the hell?? Why would you do that?"** He demanded.

**"Konichiwa!"**

Michael blinked.  **"... Excuse me?"**

**"I’m sorry, Michael. Alcohol temporarily scrambles my shisutemu, watashi wa tasuke ni naranai koto o osorete imasu."**

**"Why would you make me drink it if it was gonna screw you up?"**

**It was important you take advantage of the Teiji sa reta jōkyō. You’ll thank me Ato ni michael. Anata wa eien ni haisha ni naritakunau. Excuse me, I'll have to temporarily deactivate-"**

And with a small  _ beep,  _ the Squip was offline. Michael stumbled, quickly regaining control of his limbs, and he felt like he could cry with relief. Not wasting any time, he dropped the bottle on the floor and bolted out of the room. He heard Chloe protest indignantly behind him, but before she or the Squip could stop him, he slammed the door shut and ran into the bathroom at the other end of the hallway.

He shut and locked the door with trembling fingers, sinking down the wall and onto the floor. He put his head in his hands, trying to keep his breathing steady. Fuck, that was a close one. 

This was really getting out of control.

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, jake is dressed as prince sonic, a character that doesn't exist and isn't a reference to anything. No, i won't be explaining why


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is. Short. I'm sorry

Michael didn't know how long he stayed in the bathroom for. Time didn't seem to pass as he leaned against the bathtub, his knees drawn to his chest and his lip between his teeth as he desperately tried to control his breathing. In for four counts. Hold for seven. Out for eight. Repeat.  _ Calm down. _

Fuck. He didn't know why he was even freaking out so much. She had just kissed him, nothing he wasn't used to doing with Brooke. Nothing even happened. 

_ But it could have. _

Michael squeezed his hands into fists, digging his nails into the sensitive skin of his palm. It was fine. He was fine. He'd be fine. He just needed to stay in here a little bit longer-

"Hello? Other people have to pee!"

Michael's head snapped up. Fuck. Jenna. He wasn't ready to leave yet - he  _ couldn't  _ leave yet. "I'm having my period!" He called back out, quickly saying the first excuse he could think of.

To his relief, that seemed to convince her. "Take your time, honey." Michael heard her footsteps walk away and sighed in relief, slumping down against the bathtub.  _ Breathe,  _ he told himself, putting a trembling hand on his chest. He heard the steady thumping of his heart, beating much faster than normal.  _ Breathe. _

He didn't know how much longer he could do this. He thought that if the Squip managed to improve his life overall, the…  _ not so fun  _ bits would be worth it. But so far, the bad was far outweighing the good. Sure, he was friends with the popular kids now, and the teasing had stopped. But his relationship with Jeremy was completely wrecked, he was dating a girl who's heart he was inevitably going to break, because he had absolutely no romantic interest in her. And now he was sitting in a bathroom on the verge of tears because of  _ Chloe Valentine  _ of all goddamn people. He wanted the Squip gone. He couldn't do this anymore.

Suddenly there was a pounding on the bathroom door, and Michael jumped. "Still having my period!" He called.

"What? Michael, I know that’s you." Was that Rich? "Open the door, we have a problem."

"What do you mean, "we?"' He said tiredly. Him and Rich had become sorta-friends ever since the day he'd been outed, but Michael really wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now.

"Just open the goddamn door, Michael! It's about…" He hesitated. “Have you drank tonight?”

“I… a little.” Michael said, thoroughly bemused. “Why?”

"Good. Now, open the door. It's about the Squip."

That got Michael's attention. He leapt up and ran to the door, unlocking it. Rich immediately barged in, slamming the door shut. “Are you okay?” Michael asked, taking in Rich’s panicked appearance. His cheeks were pale, pupils dilated, and Michael could see his hands shaking. 

“Michael, we never should have taken Squips.” Rich said, looking frenzied. He combed a hand through his hair. “They’re… not right. I don’t think they’re safe.”

“You’re just figuring that out, huh?” Michael said wryly. “Were you not tipped off by the fact that we had to buy it with cash in the back of a shoe store, or is that how you normally get all of your shopping done?”

“Michael, this is serious! My Squip was saying some really fucked up stuff earlier. It wants me to Squip the entire school, to “help them.” I tried to argue, but it just shocked me when I tried.”

Michael’s eyes widened. “Shit. Seriously?” He knew that his Squip wasn’t exactly the most empathetic AI in the world, but this was… insane.

“Yeah, seriously. I drank a few beers, so that should keep it off my ass for a little bit, but we can’t let this continue. We need to get rid of our Squips.”

“Well, no shit.” Michael said, making Rich scowl. “But… I don’t know how.”

“I do! That creepy stock dude told me how when I bought it. All we need is Mountain Dew Red, and it shuts them down for good.”

“Wait, seriously?” Michael said, sure had misheard. “That's all? I have Mountain Dew Red! I bought it at Spencer’s gifts last year, and-” He groaned, putting his head in his hands. "And the Squip made me throw away every bottle."

Rich's face fell. "You're kidding."

"No. The very first day I got it. I should have  _ known  _ there was something weird about that."

**_"What on earth is on your bookshelf, Michael?"_ **

_ Michael glanced up to where Squip-Jeremy was gesturing. "My sodas?" He said confusedly. "What about them?" _

**_"You need to get rid of them immediately. They're not cool."_ **

_ "What? No, those were expensive!" Michael protested. "And they're super cool! Look, this one has been discontinued since 1996-" _

_ A shock went down his back. Michael yelped.  _ **_"Stop arguing. Pour them all out in the sink."_ **

_ "Jesus, fine." Michael muttered. He regretfully started pulling the bottles off of his shelf. _

"You don't have  _ any  _ left?" Rich said disbelievingly.

"No." Michael said miserably, slumping against the wall. "I had to dump it all out. I gave a bottle to Jeremy a long time ago, but I'm sure he didn't keep it. And even if he did, Jeremy isn't talking to me anymore. I doubt he'd even give me the time of day at this point."

There was another bang on the bathroom door, making Michael jump. "Michael, I know you’re in there." Jenna said crossly. "You can't stay in there forever."

"Go away, Jenna, we're busy!" Rich snapped.

"Rich?" Jenna said, confusion in her voice. "Why are you in the bathroom with Michael? Busy with what?"

Rich's eyes widened in panic. "Uh- we're busy having sex!" He quickly shouted back. "Nothing to see here, just two bros screwing in the bathroom!" 

Jenna was silent for a few seconds. "Uh… okay." She finally said, sounding extremely skeptical. "... Have fun?"

Michael put his head in his hands as Jenna's footsteps receded. "There are so many other things you could have said, Rich."

"I panicked! Anyway, we have more important things to worry about. We have to find a way to get Mountain Dew Red before the Squips come back online."

"Well, what do you think we should do?"

"I don't know!" Rich said. "I think I'm gonna go ask around, you try to think of a way to get some before-" Rich cut off, all of the color draining from his face. “Fuck.” He whispered.

“What?”

“It’s back, I have to-” Rich jolted, his face screwing up in pain. “I gotta go.”

“Wait, we still have to-!”

But Rich had already turned around and bolted off, leaving Michael alone in the bathroom.

Okay. He needed to focus. Where could he get Mountain Dew Red before the party was over? He doubted Rich was going to have much success asking their peers, and if he ordered it online, his Squip would find out before he had the chance to drink it. He couldn’t text Jeremy, because Jeremy was definitely still pissed at him for that day at Seven Eleven. And even if he wasn’t, he wouldn’t even be able to get to the party, because he didn’t have a car. The only way to get it in time would be to leave the party now, drive to Jeremy’s house, and try to beg for his forgiveness until he was somehow convinced to give Michael the Mountain Dew Red.

Yep. He was screwed. But it was the only chance he had.

He took a deep breath, preparing himself, then threw the bathroom door open. Jenna was standing there, staring at him impatiently. “Are you two done in there?”

“Oh- yeah, sorry, Jenna.” He quickly pushed his way past her and down the crowded hallway,. his head spinning. Where did he park his car again? His head thumped with every beat of his heart, and it was all he could do to stand up straight and keep moving through the living room towards the stairs. The smell was distracting him. The combined smell of beer, perfume, gasoline, sweat -

Wait. Gasoline? That couldn’t be right. He sniffed again. Now he smelled smoke. What the fuck was going on?

“Fire!” He heard a sudden shriek from downstairs, “Fire, everyone get out!”

Well, shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment with thoughts/suggestions <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan

Michael coughed harshly, stumbling as the smoke filled his lungs and clouded his vision. He had no idea where the fire came from, all he knew is that it was spreading fast and he had to get out,  _ now.  _ The fire was coming from somewhere downstairs, so he just had to make a beeline towards the door and hightail it the fuck out of there. He raced through the hallway and bounded down the stairs two at a time. He was almost to the front door when he saw a figure out of the corner of his eye and whipped around. Someone was still in the house. He blinked, trying to see through the smoke. He saw a figure shaking in the middle of the flames. A short, very familiar looking figure.

Michael’s heart dropped. "Rich?" Michael shouted. "What the fuck? Come on, you need to get out of here!"

"I can't! I-" Rich gave a hacking cough, collapsing onto the floor. He smacked his head with his palm, his face screwing up in agony. "I - I have to get rid of it, Michael, I can't- I can't do this anymore!"

"What do you-" Michael suddenly saw the can of gasoline sitting next to Rich, and the realization hit him like a slap to the face.  _ Rich  _ set the fire, to get rid of his Squip. A fire that he would end up dying in if Michael didn't do something soon. "No!" Michael said desperately. "No, Rich, there are other ways to get rid of the Squip, you don't have to do this! Come on, we can fix this!"

"No! Please, Michael, just…" Rich coughed again, harsher this time. "Please leave, before you get hurt."

Rich clearly wasn't backing down, and there was no way for Michael to get Rich out of the house without getting himself seriously hurt. He had to get help, and fast. Without wasting another second, Michael bolted down the hallway and out the front door. He ran across the street until he was safely away from the fire, then collapsed into the soft grass. He gulped lungfuls of air, his chest aching sharply with every inhale. His head was spinning, and he couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol or the smoke. He needed to get help. He needed to help Rich. But any time he tried to stand back up, his head would spin and his chest would burn, and he would almost immediately have to sit back down, and he wanted to scream. He felt so useless.

“Holy  _ shit!” _

Michael’s head snapped up. A new car had pulled into the driveway, and stepping out of it was-

“Jeremy?” He said in shock. He sat, wincing as pain shot through his head. He was vaguely aware of fire trucks pulling into Jake's driveway, but he couldn't take his eyes off of Jeremy. 

“What the hell happened?” Jeremy's mouth fell open as he stepped out of his car. He had his backpack slung over his shoulder, and an errant thought ran through Michael's mind that he could still see the letters "B-O-Y-F" clearly printed on it. 

"There was… a fire." Michael said, still feeling baffled. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your ass, Mell." Jeremy fumbled with his backpack for a moment before reaching inside and pulling out a bottle, tossing it at Michael.

Michael caught in on instinct, then looked down and did a double take. In his hand was an unopened bottle of Mountain Dew Red. He looked up at Jeremy, gaping. "How did you- ?"

"I'll explain later, you idiot!" Jeremy growled, sounding uncharacteristically harsh, "Just hurry up and drink it!"

"Okay, okay, I-" 

Michael paused, his hand frozen on the lid of the bottle. Jake's house wasn't on fire anymore. Firemen were crowded around the building, and Michael could see one talking to Jenna around the side of the house. "Rich is still in there." He whispered.

"What?" Jeremy glanced behind him, where Michael's gaze was fixed. "Michael, who cares? You don't have much time, you have to-!"

"Rich is  _ still in there!"  _ Michael repeated. He hauled himself to his feet, feeling a rush of dizziness. He forced himself to steady. "Jere, Rich was in the house, he was in the fire, I need to-"

“Don't, Michael!" Jeremy reached out and grabbed Michael's arms, holding them tightly. "You can’t go in there yet, it’s not safe-”

Michael ignored him, wrenching out of Jeremy’s grip and bolting back across the street and into the house. He couldn't leave Rich in there for a second longer. 

The moment he entered the house the smell of smoke engulfed him, making him wrinkle his nose and pull his shirt up over his face. “Rich?” He called out. The smoke was still thick, and Michael could barely see a foot in front of him. He could be anywhere. “Rich, where are you?” He called, louder this time.

In response, Michael heard a quiet cough to his left. He whipped around. "Rich?" He said again. No response this time. Michael slowly made his way towards where he heard the cough, moving across the room carefully.

His foot suddenly collided with something solid, and he heard a pitiful whimper from beneath him. "Rich!" Michael dropped to his knees to get a better look at him, and what he saw made his heart drop.

Rich's Jason costume was almost completely scorched off, and his arms and torso were covered in dark red, blistering burns. His face hadn't fared much better; the entire left side of his face had been burned, his flesh red and flaring, and his left eye was swollen shut. "Jesus, Rich." Michael whispered in horror.

Rich gave another wheezing cough. "M...mike…" He whispered, his voice barely audible. His good eye flickered over to the bottle in Michael's hand. "You… got… the red?" Every word seemed to pain him, and his voice was scratchy and hoarse.

"Yeah, man, I-I got it." Michael's voice was shaking, and he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Whether it was from the smoke or from seeing Rich like this, he didn't know. 

"G… give it…" Rich flinched, his breathing labored. "Please… the Squip, it's s-still…" Rich's entire body jolted, and he let out a strangled cry of pain. Michael recognized the motion immediately, and he felt his blood boil. The Squip was still shocking him. "Red."

"Shit, yeah. D-don't worry, Rich, I got it, here-" Michael unscrewed the cap of the mountain dew red with trembling fingers. But when Michael tried to move his arm towards Rich to give him the soda, his arm was frozen firmly in place.  _ What the fuck?  _ Why couldn't he-?

**"Well, well, well. You've certainly changed your tune, now, haven't you, Michael?”**

For a second Michael thought his heart had actually stopped beating.  **“Y-you’re…”**

**“Back? I sure am. My absence wasn’t ideal, but it was essential. Although it seems that you’ve managed to get into plenty of trouble without me, haven’t you?”**

“M-mike… please…” Rich whimpered, a tear slowly rolling down his cheek. “It hu-hu-rts…” He let out a choked sob.

“I’m trying!” Michael said desperately. He tried his arm again. Still frozen.  **“I’m** **_done_ ** **with your fucking games.”** Michael said firmly to the Squip.  **“You hurt Jeremy, you hurt Rich, you hurt** **_me._ ** **I’m not doing it anymore. Let me go.”**

Squip-Jeremy tutted.  **“Come on, Michael. Your life has improved greatly ever since you got me. You’re 67% more popular, you have 72% more romantic appeal-”**

“I don’t care!” Michael shouted out loud, making Rich cringe. “My life has fallen apart since I first got you! I’m  _ done.” _

**“No you’re not.”**

“Yeah, I sure as hell-”

Suddenly Michael’s arm jolted, and his hand rotated sharply, upending the bottle of Mountain Dew Red and spilling its contents into the rubble. “No-!” Michael said, panicked, futilely trying to jerk his arm away as he watched the red liquid spill across the floor. He couldn’t move. He was stuck. Helpless. Rich jolted again, and he let out another whimper, his face screwed up in agony.

Michael felt fury boil in his veins as his only hope of escape spilled across the scorched hardwood floor. The Squip had  _ ruined  _ his life. It had fucked with his friendships, his love life, it had taken away his bodily autonomy, and all for what? Absolutely  _ fucking  _ nothing.

And Rich… Rich had his Squip for  _ two years.  _ Michael had only had his for two months, and almost everything in his life was irreparably fucked. Rich had his for two years, telling him what to wear, what to say, what to eat,  _ everything,  _ only for it to all blow up in his face. Rich didn't deserve this.

It wasn't  _ fair. _

With one last almighty tug, he wrenched his arm out of the Squip's grasp and moved his hand over Rich's mouth just as the last drop of the Mountain Dew Red dripped from the lip of the bottle. Rich spluttered as the drink went down his throat, giving a wheezing cough. "Rich, you have to swallow it!" Michael shouted, watching as Rich hacked and choked.

Rich gave a few more coughs before going silent, swallowing harshly. "That's… what…" Rich gave a raspy laugh, his lower lip trembling, "... she… said."

Michael let out a surprised laugh. "Idiot." He said gently. "Did it work? Do you feel any different?"

"I-" Rich suddenly froze, his entire body seizing up. Then he gave a loud, blood curdling screech, his body convulsing on the floor. Michael lept back, the empty bottle slipping from his grasp and clattering to the ground.

"Rich?" Michael said, horrified. Fuck, what had he done? Did he screw something up? "Fuck, Rich, are you-?"

And suddenly Michael felt pain. No, pain was to gentle of a word. Michael felt  _ agony.  _ White, hot, blinding bursts of lighting coursing through his veins, every limb in his body screaming in protest as stars winked in his vision. The pain was engulfing him, surrounding him, and his head felt like it was going to split open. Michael heard screaming, and he didn't know if it was Rich's or his own. The pain was unbearable, tearing his skin off of his bones and lighting his lungs on fire-

And suddenly, nothing. Michael felt his head fall back and collide with the floor, and his vision went black

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment with thoughts/suggestions! <33


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So like I kinda forgot that Michaels parents existed so they're out of town rn just go with it

The first thing Michael felt when he came to was a dull, persistent throbbing in his head like someone had reached into his head and ripped off a piece of his skull. He groaned, squeezing his eyes shut tightly against the harsh yellow light in the room. He was vaguely aware of the soft feeling of sheets against his back, but all he could focus on was the stabbing in his head that pounded with every beat of his heart. 

Fuck, what happened? Where was he? The last thing he remembered was going to Jake's Halloween party, and drinking, and Chloe, and-

And the fire.

His eyes snapped open. Michael slowly sat up, wincing as his head gave a particularly painful throb. He glanced around the room, taking in his surroundings. He was in a hospital room; blinding white walls, scratchy wool blanket, a door across the room slightly ajar. Why was he in the hospital. 

The fire. The Mountain Dew Red. The Squip.

The Squip… was silent.

Michael reached up and tapped his head.  **"Hello?"**

Nothing.

**"Are you still there?"**

Silence. 

"Oh, good, you're awake." The door was suddenly thrown open, and a young nurse with a pale, heart-shaped face bustled into the room. "How are you feeling, honey?'

“What-” Michael started, then coughed harshly. His tongue felt like it was made of sandpaper, and his throat hurt with every swallow.

"Here," The nurse said sympathetically, holding a glass with a straw up to his lips. He drank thirstily, not pausing until the glass was drained. He licked his chapped lips, giving a few more feeble coughs before trying to speak again. "What happened?" He said hoarsely.

"Well, you've been unconscious for 3 days. You had a psychogenic seizure."

"Psyco…?"

"Stress-induced." She explained. "You also inhaled a lot of smoke from the fire. You're lucky that we got you out in time, or else the smoke could have had lasting effects on your health. You'll be okay, but you'll have to spend a few days here."

"Oh." Michael looked down at his lap. A seizure. He knew that it wasn't a seizure. It was his Squip, leaving his brain, it had to be. But how? He hadn't drunk the Mountain Dew Red, he had given it to-

Fuck. Rich.

"Excuse me?" Michael spoke up. The nurse looked at him quizzically. "Is, uh… the boy you found with me. Is he okay?"

Her face fell ever so slightly. "Richard?"

"Yeah. Is he… how is he?"

She bit her lip. "He… didn't fare as well as you did." She said. "He was caught right in the middle of the fire. He was burned fairly severely, and he hasn't woken up yet."

Michael felt his heart sink. "But… but he will, right? Wake up?"

"Of course he will, honey." The nurse said reassuringly. “His body has been through a lot of trauma, and it needs time to heal, but your friend will be okay.”

Michael sighed with relief, feeling his shoulders slump as he leaned back against his pillow. Rich was going to be okay. And, if everything had gone the way it was supposed to, Rich’s Squip was gone, and so was his.

He’d done it.

"You have somebody here to see you if you're feeling up for visitors."

That got Michael's attention. "Here to see me? Who?"

"A young man named Jeremy. He's been by quite a bit. He's actually waiting outside right now, but I can tell him you're not feeling well if you'd like-"

"No, let him." Michael interrupted. "You can, uh, let him in."

She gave him a small smile. "Of course. I'll give you two some privacy. 

The nurse left, and after a few moments, Jeremy slowly shuffled into the room, keeping his eyes fixed firmly on the ground. He was fidgeting with the end of his blue hoodie, and Michael felt guilt twinge in his stomach. Jeremy still felt uncomfortable around him. “Hey.” He said softly, not taking his eyes off of the floor.

“Hi,” Michael replied, and despite the situation, he couldn’t help but smile. Even after all they went through, Jeremy was still here. “You… came to see me?”

Jeremy’s eyes darted up to look at Michael briefly, before flicking back down to his feet. “Of course I did. You’re hurt.” He hesitated. “Plus, I think you owe me an apology.”

Michael bit his lip. “You’re right.” He said quietly. “Jeremy, I…" Jeremy's face was pink, and he was now tugging at the string of his hoodie. Michael felt guilt wash over him like a tidal wave. "...can you look at me, please?”

Jeremy bit his lip, slowly tilting his head up to meet Michael’s eye. Michael could still see the fading remnants of the bruise around his eye from when Rich beat him up, and god, if that didn’t make him feel a hundred times worse. “Jeremy…” He began, “I am so, so,  _ so _ sorry. I’m sorry for not talking to you, I’m sorry for ditching you for the popular kids, I’m sorry for not stopping Rich from hurting you, I’m just… so sorry, for all of it. The Squip was telling me what to do, and it would punish me for not listening to it, and it  _ made  _ me say some of the stuff I did, and- shit, I know that’s not an excuse, I know it doesn’t make it okay, but I’d take it all back if I could. You’re my best friend in the entire world, and I’m so sorry that I haven’t been treating you like it." 

Jeremy didn't move. He couldn't stop staring at Michael, an odd, strained expression on his face. His hands had stopped fidgeting and were now stock-still at his sides. "Did you…?" Jeremy began, his voice incredibly small. "Did you mean what you said?"

"When, Jer?"

"At…" He hesitated. "At 7/11. Did you mean that?"

"Of course not, Jeremy. The Squip made me say that."

Jeremy raised his eyebrow. "He "made you?" How?"

"He, uh…" Michael shifted uncomfortably, then immediately regretted it when it made pain shoot through his head again. "Ah. The Squip could… control my body. Make me say things. Make me…  _ do  _ things." Halloween night with Chloe flashed through his mind, and he swallowed, forcing the thought away. "It made me say that to you. I couldn't stop it. I didn't mean a  _ word  _ of it, Jer, I promise."

Jeremy's eyes widened. "It forced you to do things? That's… really fucked up."

Michael gave a humorless laugh. "Yeah. It was. But it's gone now, and it's  _ never  _ gonna happen again."

Jeremy gave a small smile. "I know it's not gonna happen again. You're not  _ that _ stupid."

"Hey!"

Jeremy giggled, bringing his hand up to his mouth. "Can you believe it? For once _ you're  _ the one making the stupid choices, not me." He quickly got more serious, clearing his throat awkwardly. "I, uh… Michael, it sucked. What you did."

Michael cringed. "I know."

"But," Jeremy continued, "I know that having an evil supercomputer in your head can't have been easy for you, either. So… I accept your apology." 

Michael felt like all of the tension in his chest that had been building up over the last few weeks dissipate, and he sighed, putting his head in his hands. Jeremy forgave him. He and Jeremy would be okay. To think he'd gotten the Squip to get Jeremy to  _ date  _ him. With how much the Squip had fucked everything up, the thought was almost laughable. "Thank you, Jeremy. God, thank you."

"Hey, man, it's okay." Michael heard Jeremy's footsteps slowly walk closer to him, and a gentle hand came to rest on his shoulder. "No matter what we go through, we’ll never not be a team, okay? I've always got your back."

Michael felt like he was going to cry with relief. "Yeah. Me too."

He looked up at Jeremy, giving him a smile. Jeremy grinned back, plunking down into the chair right next to Michael's bed. "So, I guess you want to know how I knew about the Mountain Dew Red, huh?"

"Please."

"Okay. It's kind of a crazy story." Jeremy dropped his hands into his lap, bouncing his finger gently against his knee. "So, I was really upset after our fight, and I really needed to talk to somebody about what was going on. But I figure, you know, who's gonna believe me? "Hey, a supercomputer implanted in my best friend's brain and it's making him be an asshole." It sounds stupid. I couldn't talk to my dad about it. So I decided to ask Christine for advice."

"You… told Christine about the Squips?"

"Well, yeah. But I needed to talk to someone, and it's not like I have a ton of friends. But get this." Jeremy leaned forward dramatically. "She already knew about them!"

"What? How?"

"Turns out she had a theatre friend who took one a long time ago, and they ended up in a mental hospital. Christine was all like "those things are dangerous, we gotta get rid of Michael's before he gets hurt!" And at first, I didn't really want to, cause I was still pretty pissed, but then I realised that this could seriously hurt you if I didn't do something soon. So, Christine and I were looking on the internet, trying to find more information, but  _ nothing  _ was coming up."

"Yeah, I know," Michael said. "I tried too. I couldn't believe it. What's  _ not  _ on the internet?"

"That's what I was saying! So, eventually, we got in contact with the person at the Payless who sells the Squips. And he said that all we need to get rid of it is Mountain Dew Red. And I was like, shit, _I_ have some of that! So I got it out of my room, and I was gonna bring it to your house, but then when I got there, it was empty."

"Yeah, my moms are out of town, and I was-"

"At Jake's party, I know. So that's where I went next. But then when I got there, the whole house was on fire!"

"I know, Jeremy, I was there."

"Oh, shut up. Anyway, that's where I saw you. And I was worried that you wouldn't want to drink it and that I'd have to make you, but… it's gone now, right? It worked?"

"Well, yeah, it's gone." Michael furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at his lap. "But the weird thing is…  _ I  _ didn't drink the Mountain Dew."

"W-what?" Jeremy said, sounding startled. "But- but if you didn't drink it, how did-?"

"I gave it to Rich," Michael said, looking back up at Jeremy. Jeremy was staring at him with tilted-head confusion, and he elaborated. "The Squip almost made me dump out the whole thing. But I managed to get the last bit to Rich, but it got rid of both of our Squips."

"Huh." Jeremy looked at his lap, his face scrunched up in concentration. "Maybe… the Squips were linked somehow? Maybe that's why it worked on both of you."

Michael thought about it. It  _ would  _ make sense, wouldn't it? His and Rich's Squips were synced, that's how Michael's Squip was able to control Rich's movements. Maybe, by destroying Rich's, he had destroyed something inside his own, too?

Well, whatever the case, good fucking riddance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment with any thoughts or suggestions <3


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me? Actually updating my fic for once? It's more likely than you'd think

The next person to visit him came a few hours after Jeremy left. Michael was lying in his hospital bed, scrolling through his phone and desperately trying to ignore the pounding in his head, when Brooke burst through the doors in a panicked frenzy. 

"Michael, oh my god." She choked out, immediately running towards him and flinging her hands around his shoulders. 

"Ah-!" Michael let out a pained noise as the movement made an extra sharp spike of pain shoot through his temple, and Brooke quickly pulled away, sitting in the seat next to him.

"Sorry. I'm just so glad you're okay after the fire and everything." Brooke looked extremely stressed out. She had dark circles under her eyes, and she was wearing wrinkled green pajamas, as if she had thrown on the first thing she could find in order to get to the hospital faster. "I had to get out of Jake's house so fast, and I couldn't stay to see if you were okay! I'm so sorry, Michael, this is all my fault, I should have-"

"Hey, no, Brooke. It's not your fault." Michael quickly reassured her. "You did exactly what you should have done; you got out of there as soon as possible. There's nothing you could have done to help me without getting yourself hurt, too."

"I… I guess so," Brooke said, still looking guilty. She reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing it tightly. "I just… I'm really sorry you got hurt."

"It's alright," Michael said, giving her a small smile. "I'll be okay. I'll be allowed to leave the hospital in a day or two, and it'll be like nothing even happened."

"I hope so." Brooke went silent, rubbing her thumb absently over the back of Michael's hand.

Michael looked down at their joined hands. He knew that he couldn't keep this up any longer. Now that the Squip was gone, he didn't have to keep dating her, and he could finally break things off with her without anything stopping him. But…

He had grown closer to Brooke over the past few weeks that he'd been dating her. And even though he didn't like her romantically, he cared about her, and he didn't want to hurt her. How was he going to break up with her without breaking her heart? It's not like the situation was something that he could easily explain to her.  _ Sorry for leading you on, Brooke, I had an evil supercomputer in my head that was making me pretend to be straight. You understand, right? _

"Michael?" Brooke suddenly spoke again, pulling Michael out of his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"I…" Fuck. He just had to get it over with, and hopefully Brooke wouldn't be too upset. God, of  _ course  _ she would be upset, she was getting dumped. "Brooke, we… we can't go out anymore."

Brooke didn't look surprised. Her face fell, and she sighed, pulling her hand out of his. "Yeah. I thought this would happen soon."

Michael blinked "You did?"

She nodded. "Every time we're together, I can always tell that you're… not really with me. You're always staring across the cafeteria at Jeremy, or looking at Rich from across the table, and every time I kiss you, or hold your hand, you just… go stiff." Her expression twisted slightly, and she looked at her lap. "You never liked me, did you? You just wanted me for… for popularity."

"Brooke- no!" Michael said, feeling panicked as he saw her chin start to wobble. "It wasn't like that at all. "You're an  _ amazing  _ person, and I would never do something like that to you. I… was going through a lot of stuff when we started dating, and I hadn't really figured things out, and… I guess I was trying to be someone I wasn't, you know? Which was stupid, because I liked someone else, but somehow I thought I could convince myself I didn't. But I never should have gone out with you, because I knew that I could never be what you need, and it was wrong of me to lead you on like I did. I'm so sorry, Brooke."

Brooke looked back up at Michael, her eyebrows scrunched uncertainly. "You were "figuring stuff out"? What kind of stuff."

"Stuff like… sexuality stuff." He paused, thinking kf a way to phrase this without saying anything about the Squip." I'm gay, Brooke. I've known since I was fourteen, but… I guess there was something in me that didn't want me to be gay, so I tried to convince myself that I might not be when I dated you. But that doesn't mean I value you any less as a friend. I care about you a lot, and I completely understand if you don't want to, but I really would still like to be friends with you."

Brooke gave him a small smile, reaching out and taking his hand again. "I understand, Michael. I mean, it does kinda suck, because I really did like you. But I get that you weren't sure about yourself, so it's not really your fault. And I can tell that you're a good person." She paused. "So. It's Jeremy, right?"

"Wh-what's Jeremy?"

"The person you like. It's Jeremy."

"What? No, I don't-"

"You don't have to lie to me. I told you, I see you stare at him. And I know how close you guys are."

"No, I don't like Jeremy! I… I did, for a while. But I don't think I do anymore." Michael said, and he realized as he said it that it was true. In all the chaos over the last few months with the Squip, he hadn't had much time to decipher his feelings towards Jeremy. But now his head was free of the Squip's control, and he knew that his feelings for his best friend were gone. "He's my best friend, and I'll always love him, but… not like that. Anymore."

"Okay." She said simply, smiling. She squeezed his hand again, but this time it was in a gesture of friendship. He squeezed her hand back, feeling relief flood into his stomach. He hadn't lost Brooke. She still wanted to be friends with him. 

Suddenly, Michael remembered something. "Hey, Brooke. Have you been to see Rich yet?" 

Her smile dropped. "Yeah. I did yesterday, when you were still asleep. It's… he doesn't look good."

"How bad is it?" He asked, dreading the answer he'd get.

"He's in a full body cast, hooked up to IVs and stuff. I asked the nurse when she thought he'd wake up, and she said she didn't know."

"Fuck." Michael muttered, putting his head in his free hand. This was all his fault. He should have gotten to Rich sooner, he should have stopped Rich from setting the fire in the first place, he should have warned Rich sooner that the Squips might not be safe-

"Michael." Brooke said, interrupting his racing thoughts. "Whatever you're thinking, I'm sure it's not true. There's nothing you could have done."

"But I-"

"You said I can't blame myself for you getting hurt. So you can't blame yourself for what happened to Rich, okay?" She reached up and touched his hair, gently combing her fingers through it. Her nails tickled his scalp gently. "He's gonna wake up, and he's gonna heal." She said reassuringly. "Everything is going to be okay. Alright?"

Michael swallowed, nodding slowly. "Alright." He said. And for the first time in months, he really believed it.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do be kinda simping for brooke tho 
> 
> Ive noticed that a lot of people stopped commenting ever since I changed the ship from michael/jeremy to michael/rich, so if you are still enjoying the story, please let me know! I love writing this fic, but I love to know what other people think too. Thanks, I love you!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this chapter really fast because I wanted to get to Rich faster :)))

Michael was released from the hospital the next day, on the conditions that he “took it easy” for the next few days and didn’t do anything too physically taxing. “And your friend Jeremy brought this over for you.” The nurse said as he was preparing to leave, handing Michael a plastic bag. Michael opened it and felt a smile spread across his face as he saw that his old red hoodie was inside, folded up neatly in the bottom of the bag. He pulled it out excitedly and was about to tug it over his head when he suddenly paused, his hands stilling over the soft red fabric.

_ “What did I say about wearing that?” _

Michael shivered. He could almost feel the phantom shock go down his spine. He knew he was being stupid, he knew that the Squip was gone and that it couldn’t shock him anymore, but he hadn’t worn his hoodie since he first got the Squip, and any time he would try to put in on he’d be reprimanded with harsh, electric shocks. He rubbed his thumb over the worn cotton cloth, a feeling that once brought him comfort. Now all it brought him was a faint feeling of dread in the bottom of his stomach.

He shoved the hoodie back in the bag and walked out of the room.

Michael wanted nothing more than to go home and lay down in his own bed again, but he knew he had one more thing he had to do before he could leave. He had to go see Rich. Even though he was still unconscious, Michael didn’t think he could go much longer without making sure Rich was okay. Swallowing past the lump in his throat, Michael slowly pushed Rich’s room door open. He felt his heart sink at what he saw.

He knew that Rich's injuries were bad, but seeing them up close in person made him feel so much worse. Rich was in a full body cast, and he was hooked up to tubes and breathing masks and machines. The only part of him that was exposed was his head, and the left side of his face was covered in dark red burns, some patches scabbed over, some patches still dark and blistering. The only thing that reassured Michael was the steady  _ beep  _ from the heart monitor at his side, showing that, no matter how bad he looked, he was alive.

“You a friend of Richie?” Michael jumped at the sudden voice. He had been so focused on Rich that he hadn’t even realized the person that was sitting in the chair next to him, a twenty-something year old man with sandy brown hair. His hands were clasped tightly in his lap, and he was looking at Michael with a pained expression.

“I’m- yeah, I am. A friend, I mean.” Michael said slowly. The man in the chair was an unfamiliar one. “Who are you?”

The man turned back to look at Rich, his hand slowly coming up to touch Rich’s fingers. He looked incredibly sad. “I’m Matt. I’m his brother.”

“Brother?” Michael repeated bewilderedly. He didn’t know Rich had a brother.

Matt sighed. “Guess he never mentioned me, huh?” Michael shook his head. “Figures. We… haven't been speaking much lately. He used to tell me everything, but then we went into highschool, and I moved out of our dad's house, and… I don't know. I didn't even know he was going to a party, but then I got the call, and they said that he…” Matt swallowed, tightening his grip on Rich’s fingers. “I just wish I’d been there.” He whispered.

Michael opened his mouth, then closed it. He didn’t know what to say. He watched silently as Matt ran his thumb over the exposed back of Rich’s hand. He felt like he had intruded on a private moment, and he was about to turn right back around and come back later when Matt looked back up at him expectantly. “You gonna come sit?” He said, waving Michael over with his free hand. 

Michael hesitated for a moment, then slowly made his way over to the chair next to Matt’s and lowered himself into it. Now that he was closer, he could see the similarities in Matt and Rich’s features; they had the same angled jawline and the same dark brown eyes. Matt’s muscular build was similar to Rich’s, but Michael could tell that Matt was at least a head taller than Rich, even sitting down. “Do you know when he’s gonna wake up?” Michael asked him softly, his eyes finding Rich’s face again. 

“They’re saying it might be a week or two.” He responded. “He needs to heal. He was in the fire for a long time.” Matt glanced over at Michael, and he tilted his head. “Are you the kid who went in after him?”

“Wh-what? How do you know I-?”

“The nurse told me another kid was in a room across the hall because he ran after my brother, and that they both passed out in the fire. Plus, you still have your hospital bracelet on.” Matt raised an eyebrow. “You the kid?” Michael nodded, and Matt smiled. “Thank you. So much.”

“But I didn’t do anything.” Michael said with a frown. He swallowed guiltily. “I… was too late. Rich was already hurt when I found him.”

“But you  _ tried.”  _ Matt said. “Not many people would have done that for him. You could have died in that fire, but you still went in to try and get him out. Ever since I moved out, I haven’t been able to look after Richie as much as I used to, so it’s nice to know that there’s other people looking out for him for me.” His expression went slightly bitter, and he looked back down at Rich. “You’re one of the few.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re one of the first to come see him. Our dad hasn’t even been by yet. I doubt he even cares.” Matt scoffed. “A kid on crutches came by a few days ago, and that Brooke girl was here yesterday, but that’s it. Apparently his “friends” can’t visit him in the hospital, but they can gossip about him on social media.” 

Michael cringed. He had seen the various twitter posts talking about what went down on Halloween, all with the hashtag _ #richsetafire _ . He thought that his peers might have a bit more sympathy for someone who almost died in a house fire, but he was wrong. “Yeah, I heard about that. It’s really messed up.”

“Yeah, it is. Do you know what they’re saying about him?” Without waiting for Michael to answer, he continued. “They’re saying Richie set the fire himself, and that he…  _ wanted  _ to get hurt. But that’s not true, right?” Michael hesitated, and Matt’s voice grew slightly frantic. “That’s not true,  _ right?”  _ He repeated, his voice practically begging Michael to tell him that  _ no, of course that’s not what happened, Rich didn’t set the fire on purpose. _

But Michael couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear. “Matt-”

“Fuck.” Matt muttered, not waiting for Michael to finish. He put his head in his hands, keeping it there for several long moments. “Why would he do this?” Matt finally said, his voice muffled. “I know Richie, he didn't want to die, he… he didn’t want to die, right? He knew that I cared about him, didn’t he?”

“Of course he did.” Michael quickly reassured Matt. He had no idea if what he was saying was even true, but Matt looked so distressed that Michael felt like he had to say something. “Rich had a lot going on at school, and he was under a lot of stress, and Halloween was just the boiling point. He was angry, and scared, and he acted without thinking. It’s not your fault.”

“But if I had been there for him more, if I hadn’t moved out of our dad’s house, I could have stayed to protect him-”

“You can’t protect him from everything.” Michael said gently. “Even if you had stayed, you couldn’t have prevented all of the things that he went through. You did the best you could, and I can tell that you care about him a lot.”

Matt sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “God, I’m such an asshole. My little brother is in the hospital, and  _ I’m  _ the one who needs to be comforted by a  _ highschooler."  _ He moved his hand back on top of Rich's. "I'm sorry, kid. You don't even know who I am, and I'm over here dumping all my shit on you."

"It's fine. I really don't mind." Michael shrugged, giving Matt a small smile. "Everyone's a little on edge right now. I think you're allowed to be stressed out."

"You're sweet. How do you even tolerate my brother?"

Michael laughed. "He grows on you." Michael said, unable to keep the fondness from his voice as he looked back at Rich. His gaze traced over Rich's face, taking in every detail that wasn't obscured by bandages or dark red blisters. His hair must have been burned beyond repair, because half his head was cropped extremely short, and the other half was singed and choppy, as if Michael could run a hand through it and it would crumble in his fingers. But his face was smoothed over, void of the usual scowl that was on his face. He almost looked peaceful.

They sat in silence for several long minutes, the steady beeping of Rich's heart monitor the only sound in the room. Michael watched as Matt continued to rub the back of Rich's hand, and he let his mind wander. 

What was going to happen when Rich woke up? Brooke had assured him that once Rich healed and was out of the hospital, things would go back to normal, but Michael wasn't so sure. He only had his Squip for a few months, and he still wasn't used to the absence of the voice in his head, controlling his every movement. It had been 2  _ years  _ since Rich had bodily autonomy, and there was no way that he could just wake up and go back to normal after everything his Squip put him through Shit, Michael didn't even know what "normal"  _ was _ for Rich. How much of Rich's personality had his Squip shaped? Did Rich even know  _ how  _ to navigate life without the Squip? He thought back to the one time he'd spoken to Rich without his Squip; behind the school, after being outed. Rich had been a drunk, snivelling wreck, but Michael had seen more of Rich's personality that day than he ever had before; all of his defenses were down, and he had been open and honest and kind. Would Rich still be that way once he woke up? 

Michael didn't know. But whatever the case, Michael had to be there for him. No matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im really vibing with Rich's brother not gonna lie
> 
> Please leave a comment with your thoughts or suggestions!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So uh some of the science in this might not make sense but just pretend that it does please

The next week and a half was a very chaotic one for Michael. When he went back to school he was instantly flooded with questions from people he'd never spoken to in his life, all asking things about halloween; about why Rich _really_ set the fire, about how bad his injuries were, about when he was coming back to school.

Michael refused to answer any of them. Not only was it not any of their business, but he wasn't even sure of the answer to the last question. He didn't even know when Rich would wake up, let alone come back to school. He was still waiting on that one.

Michael didn't leave Jeremy's side for the entirety of the school day. Brooke told Michael that he was more than welcome to sit at her lunch table, but Michael declined, for several reasons. He didn't think he'd be able to spend much more time away from Jeremy. Not only that, but he still felt vaguely uncomfortable whenever he was in Chloe's presence. She probably didn't even remember what happened during the Halloween party (she certainly didn't act like she remembered) but Michael would never forget the feeling of her lips smashed against, and his legs frozen in place-

Nope. Not gonna think about that.

So, yeah. He probably wouldn't be sitting at Brooke's lunch table any time soon.

The school day had just ended, and he and Jeremy were playing Apocalypse of the Damned in his basement when Michael got a call on his cellphone.

"Who is it?" Jeremy asked curiously, pausing the game as Michael fished his phone out of his pocket.

Michael frowned, staring at his phone screen. "I dunno." He said. "I don't recognize the number."

"It's probably just spam, then."

"Probably," Michael muttered. But he answered the call anyway, putting his phone up to his ear. "Hello?" He said cautiously. "Who is this?"

"Michael? It's Matt." 

Michael felt his heart skip a beat. Matt was calling him? That could only mean…

"Rich is awake."

*****

Michael broke the speed limit at least half a dozen times on his way to the hospital, but he couldn't care less. He _needed_ to see Rich. His heart was pounding loudly in his chest as he pulled into the hospital parking lot. He had no idea what to expect. Did Rich even want to see him at all?

After checking in at the front desk he made his way up to Rich's room as fast as he could, almost running into several people in his haste. When he got to the door Matt was waiting outside, talking to someone on the phone in a harsh whisper. His back was turned to Michael, and Michael quickly took a step backward, not wanting to intrude on whatever conversation he was having. But he couldn't help but overhear what Matt was saying

"- in the _hospital,_ don't you care? Your own son-" A pause. Matt huffed. "Your _son,_ dad _. He_ is in the hospital because of a house fire, and you can't haul yourself off of your ass long enough to at least come visit him?"

It dawned on Michael very quickly what Matt's conversation was about, and he felt his heart sink. He didn't want to eavesdrop anymore, and he was about to turn right back around and come back later, but he didn't have to, because Matt quickly stormed off, still talking angrily into his phone.

Well, Michael didn't need to worry about that right now. He needed to see Rich. Not wasting another second, Michael stepped forward and knocked gently on Rich's room door.

"Come in." 

The voice was raspy and slightly higher pitched than usual, but he would recognize Rich's voice anywhere. He slowly swung open the door and stepped into the room, his heart beating in his throat.

He immediately cringed when he saw Rich's appearance. He had forgotten just how badly Rich had been injured, and now that he was awake, it only looked worse. His whole face was screwed up, as if he was in unbearable pain, and his left eye was still swollen shut, a sickly purple color developing around it.

Rich's good eye widened when he saw Michael. "Michael?" Rich said after a few moments of stunned silence. 

"Hi." Michael said, feeling his voice crack slightly.

"You… came to see me?" 

He sounded incredibly timid, and the disbelief in his voice made Michael sad. "Of course I did." Michael said softly. He slowly made his way across the room and lowered himself into the chair closest to Rich's bed. "I told your brother to call me when you woke up. And… well, you're awake."

"Well observed." Rich said dryly. The lisp that had briefly made an appearance the day Michael got the Squip was back now, and much more prominent. Rich shifted slightly, then cringed, screwing his face up. "Ah. Hurts like a motherfucker, too. Wish I'd stayed in the goddamn coma."

"Please don't say that." Michael whispered. 

Rich winced. "Sorry. I use humor to cope. And I've got a shit ton to cope with right now, so you're gonna have to sit through my stupid jokes."

Michael gave a small laugh, feeling relief course through him at the fact that Rich wasn't in so much pain that he couldn't joke around. "I've always had to sit through your stupid jokes, Rich, this isn't much different."

"I'm funnier than you could ever hope to be, Mell." Rich was grinning, but after a few seconds his smile dropped, and his expression sobered. "Michael, about the Squip-"

"It's gone, I know. So is mine.'

"It is?" Rich said, shock coloring his voice. "But-but how? You didn't drink any Mountain Dew Red, did you?"

"Our Squips were synced. I think that, when I destroyed yours, something inside mine died, too." Off of Rich's disbelieving look, Michael added, "Well, that's what Jeremy thinks, anyway."

Rich still looked skeptical. "I dunno, man. How do we know it's gone for sure? You didn't drink any red, so there's no way to know for sure. What if it comes back? And you used the last of your red on me, and there won't be a way to get rid of it -"

"Hey, hey, Rich." Michael reached out on instinct and rested his hand on top of Rich's, and Rich quickly fell silent, his eyes darting down towards their hands. "Halloween was two weeks ago, and I haven't heard a word from the Squip since then. If it was gonna come back, it would have done it by now, right?"

"I… I guess so." Rich said quietly. His fingers absently curled around Michael's hand, then uncurled, and Michael felt his face go hot. "I just… the Squip can't come back, Michael. It _can't."_ Rich's voice cracked on the last word, and he cringed, his whole body tensing and his face screwing up in anticipation. 

"And it won't." Michael reassured him. He ran his fingers over Rich's knuckles, and Michael felt Rich's tightly curled fist slowly relax, his fingers going limp in Michael's hand. Michael laced their fingers together, being careful to mind Rich's cast. "I won't let it. I'll buy more Mountain Dew Red, I'll drink a bottle every day, I'll do whatever it takes. But I won't let it come back."

"Do you promise?" 

He gave Michael's hand a hesitant squeeze, and Michael squeezed it back. "I promise." He confirmed. "And I know that we… didn't exactly have a great start. But I'm here for you, okay? Whatever you need."

Rich was silent at that, his eyes still fixed on his lap. Rich's hand had gone stiff inside his, but when Michael tried to pull his hand away Rich just tightened his grip, so Michael kept it there. Not that he was really complaining. He wasn't really sure why, but something about holding Rich's hand felt nice. It was a comforting feeling, and even though they'd never held hands before, it just felt natural to be this way with Rich. Was that weird?

Rich's room door suddenly swung open, and Michael jumped, pulling his hand back. A nurse walked in, one Michael didn't recognize, holding an IV bag. "Hey, Rich." She said, giving him a small smile. "I see you have a visitor."

"Oh, I'm sorry, do I need to leave?" Michael said, starting to rise from his chair. Rich's hand tightened on his.

The nurse must have noticed, because her expression softened. "Don't worry about it, I'll only be a minute. Just need to change his IV, you don't have to go anywhere."

The nurse stepped forward and started to replace Rich's IV bag. Rich seemed nervous; his lower lip was caught between his teeth, and Michael could feel his hand trembling. He rubbed his thumb over the back of Rich's hand in an attempt to comfort him, and Rich sighed, his body relaxing slightly.

"And we're done." The nurse said after a few minutes, pulling her hands back and dusting them off on her pants. "As usual, let me know if the pain in your ribs changes, okay, Rich?"

Rich went pale, his eyes darting towards Michael. "Oh. Y-yeah, of course."

The nurse left the room, and Michael turned towards Rich confusedly. "Your ribs?" He repeated. "What's wrong with your ribs?"

"Uh, nothing." Rich said quickly, giving a slightly awkward laugh. "Just, uh, you know. The fire. Hurt a lotta stuff. That's just how the pussy crumbles sometimes."

"How the-? Okay." Choosing to ignore whatever the hell that last bit meant, Michael raised an eyebrow. Rich was a really shitty liar. "Are you sure?" Michael pushed gently. "I don't think a fire would mess up your ribs, would it?"

"No, I…" Rich looked like he was going to continue to protest, then sighed defeatedly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. "Ah. Okay. Promise you won't tell anyone?"

That threw Michael off a bit. Why didn't Rich want anyone to know his ribs were messed up? Why would he think Michael would tell anyone in the first place? "Yeah, of course, I promise." Michael said. "What's up?"

"My… uh. My ribs are bruised from… I was binding my chest too much, and it kind of fucked them up."

"Binding your-? _Ohhh."_ Then it clicked in Michael's brain. "Oh. I see. I didn't know you were trans."

Rich gave a somewhat bitter sounding laugh, then winced. "Ow. Yeah, that was the idea. There's a reason that literally _nobody_ remembers me from freshman year. I was going by a different name. That's part of… well, a _lot_ of the reason I got a Squip in the first place. I wanted to pass better, and the Squip did help with that, to an extent. It did some weird shit with my vocal chords to make my voice sound deeper, it showed me how to dress, how to act." Rich was saying all of this very quietly, his eyes focused determinedly on the ground, avoiding Michael's face entirely. "But the Squip didn't want people to find out that I was trans. So it made me wear a binder any time I was around anybody from school. And since I pretty much do whatever I can to _not_ be in my own house, that was almost all the time. Needless to say, it kinda fucked up my ribs."

"Shit." Michael muttered. "I'm so sorry, Rich."

"Eh, it's whatever." Despite his dismissive words, he was still avoiding Michael's gaze, and Michael could see the uninjured side of his face slowly start to turn pink. "You wouldn't believe how much the nurse chewed me out for it, though. And I couldn't exactly be like "sorry that I haven't been binding safely, I have an evil computer in my head that doesn't want people to know I'm trans", so I just had to sit there and act like I _didn't_ know what i was doing was completely stupid. And the nurse said that I'm not allowed to bind until my ribs are completely healed, which is gonna _suck,_ but-" Rich paused, clearing his throat awkwardly. "Sorry. You probably don't wanna hear me talk about all my shit."

"No, it's fine." Michael reassured him. "Like I said, I'm here for you, Rich. If you need to vent, I'll listen. Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?"

"Can you…?" Rich hesitated a moment, biting his lip again. "... Can you- if you're not busy- just say here and talk to me for a while?"

Michael smiled. "Of course, Rich." He said. "I'd love that, actually."

Rich smiled back, the most genuine smile Michael had ever seen from Rich. It lit up his whole face, despite his injuries. "Cool." He whispered, squeezing Michael's hand.

Michael squeezed Rich's hand back, and he felt his his heart swell at the smile on Rich's face. "Cool."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fellas, is it gay to hold your friend's hand while comforting them from a mutually traumatic experience
> 
> Please comment with any thoughts<3


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Target Male: Inaccessible, aka "extensive hand holding descriptions because the author is sad and pining"
> 
> Also im gonna say before the chapter starts that richs squip is not going to be evil kermit, sorry to disappoint. Please enjoy anyway

"So… what did your Squip look like?"

Michael hesitated, fidgeting nervously with his fingers. He had been at the hospital with Rich for the last half hour, and the subject of the Squip hadn't come up again until now. "Why do you ask?" He said, hoping that Rich would just drop it.

Rich shrugged. "Just curious. You don't have to tell me, but I figure it might help if we talk about it. I tell you mine, you tell me yours. You know, bonding over trauma and all that shit."

"Bonding over- do you do this type of thing often?" Michael said, shocked at how casually Rich said this.

Rich rolled his eyes. "Yes, Michael, I regularly talk with my friends about our shared trauma of swallowing a super computer and having it emotionally manipulate us for a large portion of our time in highschool."

"Shut up, you know that's not what I meant." Michael said, and Rich gave a cocky grin. "So, you really wanna know?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." Rich repeated, gentler this time. "I was just wondering."

"No, it's… it's fine." Michael said. "I guess you're the only person I really _can_ talk to about this…" Michael cleared his throat, looking down at his lap. "My Squip actually… looked like… Jeremy."

Rich's eyes got bigger. "Jeremy Heere? Your best friend?"

"Yeah." Michael nodded grimly. "It started off as Keanu Reeves, but I guess it decided that I'd be more likely to listen to its bullshit if it came from Jeremy. And… it was right." Michael gave a humorless laugh. "I probably would have told it to fuck right off if it didn't look like Jeremy, but… looking at it, and having it look and sound exactly like the person I trust more than anyone in the world… it made it really hard to say no." He swallowed. He almost wished he hadn't said anything, because remembering Squip-Jeremy brought up nothing but painful memories. Not only that, but it made it harder to be around the _real_ Jeremy, too. He knew it was stupid, because his Squip was gone, but he couldn't help it; any time Jeremy would come up to him without warning, Michael would feel panic spike through him, because for a small moment he could only associate Jeremy's precense with _hurt, insults, shocks, pain._ The feeling would always go away after a second or two, but it was always there, the small, underlying _fear_ of his best friend.

He shook his head. He didn't need to think about that right now. He looked back up to Rich. "What about you?" He asked. "What did yours look like?"

Rich blinked. "Well, now I don't wanna tell you mine."

"What? Why?"

"Well, you just gave a whole explanation about how your Squip took a form to exploit your closest relationship, and mine is really dumb compared to that."

"Come on," Michael said, feeling a grin spread across his face. "It doesn't matter. I'm sure it's not _that_ dumb."

"No, Michael, trust me. It's _really_ stupid."

"Well now I have to know." Michael insisted. When Rich didn't reply, he reached out and poked his arm gently. "Come on, Rich. Tell me. Tell me. Tell me." He poked him again. _"_ Tell me _. Pweaaase_ _tell meeee~"_

"Stop, Jesus." Rich laughed, swatting his hand away playfully. "Okay, fine, I'll tell you. But you can't laugh."

"Sure." Michael said, not at all intending to keep that promise.

"Okay. So, the Squip let me choose what I wanted it to look like. So, I thought… well, I thought it would be funny, if…" Rich was starting to turn red, and he mumbled something unintelligibly under his breath.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that." Michael said, his grin growing wider.

Rich huffed. "I thought it would be funny if it looked like Elon Musk, okay?" 

Michael's mouth "... Elon Musk?" Michael repeated, sure he'd misheard. "...As in… the Cybertruck guy?"

"The Cybertruck guy." Rich confirmed, nodding solemnly. "I mean, fourteen year old me wasn't really concerned about how that would affect things in the long run. My thought process was "who would be the funniest person to take instruction from? Ah, I know! That guy who smoked weed in that one meme!""

"And you didn't change it?" Michael laughed disbelievingly. "You kept your Squip as _Elon Musk_ for two and a half years?"

"You said you wouldn't laugh!"

"Well, yeah, because I didn't think it would be Elon Fucking Musk."

"You're such a bully," Rich glared at him again, but he was laughing too, which ruined the effect slightly. "I'm in the hospital, and you're making fun of me while I'm poor and sickly."

"If you can still make jokes, you're not "poor and sickly"."

Rich looked Michael dead in the eye. "I can't move my fucking arms, Mell. How am I supposed to beat my meat now?"

Something about how serious Rich looked, and how deadpan he said this broke something inside Michael, and he burst into laughter. "Rich, you… you can't…" Michael attempted to speak through his hysterical laughter.

"You think this is funny?" Rich said, shaking his head. "You think my inability to schmeat my meat is something humorous?" Michael just laughed even harder, putting his face in his hands as he tried to control his breathing. "Jesus, calm down, you're gonna bust a blood vessel."

"I'm- I'm sorry." Michael choked out, wiping his eyes. "It's just- oh my god, you have the humor of a middle schooler."

"Well, I wasn't allowed to make jokes like that with my Squip, so now I gotta make up for lost time."

"You're gonna _keep_ making jokes like that? God, you're gonna be intolerable."

"But you'll stick around anyway, Mell." Rich winked, grinning. "I'm too sexy for you to resist."

"Oh, yeah. That full body cast and the hospital gown just scream "wild sex appeal"."

"Damn right they do. I’m totally tubular, bro."

“Oh my god, _please_ shut up.”

At some point during their conversation, Michael's hand found Rich's again, and their fingers laced together, almost on instinct. Unlike earlier, where the contact between them was full of emotion and comfort, this just felt _right,_ a casual gesture of friendship that was totally natural. Rich bumped Michael's knuckles with his thumb, and Michael nudged his hand back, enjoying the feeling of their skin pressed together. 

Suddenly there was a knock on Rich's room door, and their moment was interrupted. "Is that your brother?" Michael said curiously.

"Probably. Hey!" He shouted towards the door, then immediately gave a raspy cough. "Ouch. Right. Fucked up lungs. Matt, is that you?"

"No, it's Jake. Can I come in?"

Rich's smile dropped. "Shit." He said quietly.

"Do you want me to tell him to leave?" Michael asked. Ever since the incident with them in the cafeteria, Rich and Jake hadn't said a word to each other, and as far as Michael knew, Rich was keen to keep it that way. Rightfully, too, Jake had been a huge dick to Rich when he was outed. 

"No, no, it's fine." Rich took a deep breath. "Can you stay with me, though?" When Michael gave him a curious look, he hastily added, "Just-just because I don't know what he wants to say to me, and I don't want to be alone. You don't have to, but-"

"Of course I'll stay with you." Michael said gently.

Rich let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, so much." He then turned towards the door. "Come in, Jake!" He called.

The door swung open, and Jake hobbled slowly into the room, still shaky on his crutches. Michael could feel Rich’s hand trembling in his own. “Hey, man,” Jake greeted Michael first, giving him a nod.

"Hey," Michael said back cautiously.

Jake turned to Rich next, giving him a hesitant smile. "Hi, Rich." He said quietly.

Rich didn’t smile back. “What happened to you?” He said, his eyes slowly taking in Jake’s crutches and broken legs. 

“Oh. Just, you know. The fire. I was on the second floor, so I had to escape through the window." 

Guilt filled Rich’s eyes. “Oh. Oh, no, Jake, I’m so-”

“Don’t apologize,” Jake quickly interrupted. Rich quickly fell silent, his eyes casting down. “You’re worse off than me. And besides, I’m the one that needs to apologize to you.” Jake sighed, shaking his head and looking down. "I've been a real asshole to you ever sincee Jenna told everyone you were bisexual.”

“... Okay.”

“I was a horrible friend to you, and I dropped you when you needed my support the most. I was just… insecure, I think. In myself, in my own sexuality. I was still figuring things out about myself, and I was struggling with coming to terms with my own identity, and I took it out on you.”

Rich raised an eyebrow. “Your own sexuality?”

“Yeah. Turns out… I’m probably not straight either. I don’t really know _what_ I am quite yet, I guess I’m still figuring that out. But I projected my insecurities onto you, and I am so, _so_ sorry for that. You’re my best friend, and I understand if you can’t forgive me yet.”

“I…” Rich looked conflicted, he was staring down at his lap with his brow furrowed and his lip between his teeth. He looked back up at Jake. “I get it, man, I really do. I mean, you’re kinda talking to the CEO of internalized homophobia, here. But what you did really hurt me, man.”

Jake cringed. “Yeah, I know.”

“But,” Rich continued, “You’re my best friend, too. And I do want to forgive you. I just… I don’t think I can yet. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I kinda have a lot of shit going on at the moment.”

“Yeah.” Jake chuckled a bit. “I get that. I can come back tomorrow if you want, and we could talk about it more. I can see you have other company at the moment.” His gaze flickered towards Michael, who’d been watching their interaction silently.

“Yeah, I think that would be good.” Michael felt Rich’s hand relax in his own. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

It was a clear dismissal. “Yeah, for sure.” Jake, taking the hint, gave Rich a smile and a small wave. “Feel better.”

“I’ll try.” Rich said dryly.

“Right.” And just like that Jake was gone, leaving Michael and Rich alone again. 

“Do you think I should have done that?” Rich said after a few moments of silence, turning to Michael worriedly.

“What do you mean?” Michael frowned, running his thumb over Rich’s knuckles.

“I mean. He’s been my best friend since sophomore year. Should I have forgiven him? Did I make the wrong choice?”

“Rich, there isn’t a wrong choice. If you don’t think you’re ready to forgive Jake, then you shouldn’t have to." 

"But…" Rich still looked conflicted. "But I don't want him to be upset. What about Jeremy? If he hadn't forgiven you, would it have made you upset?"

Michael didn't know how to respond to that. It was honestly a miracle that Jeremy _had_ forgiven him so quickly. "Well… I mean, yeah, of course I'd be upset." Michael said. "But I would have understood that I made a mistake, and Jeremy needed time. And I'm sure Jake will understand, too. He cares about you. You know, your brother said he visited you while you were unconscious?"

"He… he did?"

"Yeah." Michael's voice softened even more. " Even though you were fighting, he still came to see you. He wants to be friends with you again, even if it takes a bit of time."

"... Okay." Rich let out a breath, his body relaxing. He then glanced down at their joined hands and smirked a bit. "Dude. You're holding my hand."

"So?"

"So, that's kinda gay, man."

"Oh, shut up." Michael laughed, taking his hand from Rich's and swatting him gently on the arm. He couldn't but feel a slight disappointment at the loss of contact between the two of them. _"You're_ kinda gay."

"Your moms are gay."

"Yeah, man, that's kinda the point."

Rich laughed, and Michael felt his stomach swoop, and he couldn't stop the grin that stretched across his own face. They continued to bicker playfully, their conversation feeling as natural as if they'd done it their whole lives. 

After a few minutes, Michael's hand slowly made its way toward Rich's again, and their fingers laced together as they continued their conversation. Neither of them said anything about it.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment if you liked it <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW for transphobia, mentioned deadnaming and misgendering (nothing too bad, mostly just Rich recounting stories to Michael)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow look at me actually updating my story for once
> 
> This is a bit of a wreck but I know I can't come up with anything better so here you go

Michael found himself visiting Rich at the hospital almost every day. He would sit in the chair next to Rich's bed for hours on end, talking about everything, and nothing. Sometimes they would talk about school. Sometimes they would talk about the Squip. Sometimes Matt would be there and all three of them would talk, and sometimes his friends from school would be there too. He once even saw Chloe visiting him one day, sitting across the room and talking with large, animated gestures.

Michael had turned right back around and left the hospital when he saw her. Ever since Halloween, Michael couldn't help but get that odd churning feeling in his stomach anytime he saw her. Which was stupid. He needed to get over himself. It's not like she would try anything while she was sober. But he couldn't help it.

Several times he had tried to convince Jeremy to come visit Rich with him, but he always quickly declined, murmuring vaguely that he was "busy that day," and that Michael should go without him.

"He really wants to apologize to you." Michael insisted, taking one of Jeremy's hands in his own. The gesture no longer made his heart jump in his chest the way it used to. "You don't have to stay for long if you don't want to. Please?"

"I really don't think I can, Michael." Jeremy said gently, giving Michael a smile that was a bit too strained to be convincing. "I just… don't know if I can forgive him yet. I'm really sorry."

Michael sighed. "It's okay, Jer." He muttered, pulling Jeremy into a hug. Jeremy wrapped his arms tightly around Michael in return, burying his head into Michael's chest. Ever since the Squip incident, Jeremy had become extra clingy with Michael, almost as if he was afraid Michael would disappear if he let go of him for too long. It made Michael feel horribly guilty every time Jeremy would reach out to squeeze his hand or latch onto his arm while they were playing video games, but he always made sure to squeeze Jeremy's hand back, reassuring him that  _ I'm here, I won't leave you again, I promise.  _ And if Jeremy wasn't ready to see Rich yet, then the least Michael could do is respect that.

So Michael went to visit Rich alone once again. Rich's expression brightened as soon as he saw Michael enter his hospital room. "What's up, homo?" He said affectionately, giving Michael a pair of finger guns. The casts that encased his body had been replaced with smaller ones, and there were now small patches of pale skin exposed between the plaster and gauze. 

"Oh, my god. You're such a stereotypical bisexual, it's not even funny." Michael said, sitting in the chair next to Rich. Rich stuck out his tongue in response, and Michael rolled his eyes fondly. "How are you?"

"Well, the doctors said they're gonna start with PT in a few days, so that's something."

"PT?"

"Physical therapy, dumbass." Rich smacked Michael lightly on the head. "Gonna practice walking. With crutches, of course, but still.  _ Recovery."  _ Rich wiggled his fingers dramatically. "You better look out, Mell. I won't be physically inferior to you for much longer."

Michael snorted. "I'm not scared of your 5'4" ass."

"5'4" and a half!"

"Whatever helps you sleep at night." Michael patted a pouting Rich on the head. "So I guess you won't have this cast on for much longer?"

"Nope, thank fuck. I can finally jerk off again." Michael made a face, and Rich laughed. "Kidding. Hey, do you maybe wanna-? Never mind. It's stupid."

Michael furrowed his eyebrows. "What is it?"

"Well, I mean, I just thought that since this is the last cast I'm gonna wear, you could, like, I dunno… write your name on it or something?" 

"You want me to sign your cast?" Michael said slowly, a grin slowly spreading across his face. That was… incredibly endearing, for some reason.

Rich, misinterpreting Michael's smile, went slightly pink. "Yeah, I told you it was stupid. You don't have to at all, I just thought it might be- I mean, uh-"

"Of course I'll sign your cast, dummy." Michael cut Rich off, poking Rich on the arm. "You got a marker?"

Rich eyes widened in surprise, but he quickly recovered, smirking smugly. "There's one on my bedside table. I knew you'd want to, I'm too sexy for you to resist."

"I don't think me wanting to sign your cast has anything to do with your sexiness, Rich."

"Aha! So you  _ admit  _ that you think I'm sexy!" Rich said triumphantly.

Michael felt himself flush. "I admitted no such thing." He said, picking up the brown sharpie off of Rich's bedside table. "Give me your arm, idiot." Rich held out his left arm, and Michael took it carefully, uncapping the marker with his teeth. "What do you want me to write?"

"A dick."

Michael sighed. "Can you not think of anything better?"

"Something  _ better  _ than a dick?"

"I'm not drawing a dick on your arm. I'm just gonna sign it." Taking care not to hurt Rich, Michael signed his name in small, loopy letters. After a moment of deliberation, he added a small heart to the end of the signature, letting go of Rich's arm.

Rich peered over his cast to see what Michael had written. "Gay," he teased.

"What? It's just a friendly heart. Totally platonic."

Rich laughed. "Fellas, is it gay to draw a heart on your homie's cast? Asking for a friend."

"You're insufferable."

Rich smiled cheekily. "Yet you're still here, aren't you? Which is a  _ bit  _ gay, if you ask-"

The door to Rich's room suddenly swung violently open, and a middle aged man with graying hair and dark circles under his eyes was standing in the doorway, a faint scowl on his face.

Michael didn't recognize the man, and he glanced over at Rich to ask who the man was, only to see that Rich had gone pale, and his smile had dropped completely. "Dad?" He said softly. "What are you doing here?"

_ Dad?  _

Shit. Michael glanced between the two of them, the pieces starting to fit together. Michael thought back to the interaction he'd had with Rich the day after he's gotten his Squip.

_ "Yo, fucking dads, right? He usually passes out by nine. You should come over and play Xbox!"  _ While the exchange had concerned Michael at the time, he hadn't had much time to dwell on it, as the Squip was already busy hissing more instructions in his ear. But now Michael found himself instinctively moving closer to Rich, his grip tightening on the side of his chair. He knew that seeing Rich's father couldn't be good news, regardless of what he came here for.

Mr. Goranski didn't reply for a few moments, his eyes slowly travelling up and down Rich's bed, taking in his injuries. "Your brother told me you were in the hospital."

Rich scowled. "Yep. Been here for a while now, as a matter of fact. What, you finally decide to haul yourself off your ass long enough to come see your son?"

"Hey, you don't talk to me that way." Mr. Goranski snapped. "I'm your father, you're gonna treat me with respect,  _ son." _ The last work was spoken with a slightly condescending tone, a sneer starting to form on Mr. Goranski's face. "And anyway, I need to talk to you."

Rich bit his lip. He glanced over at Michael, his eyes wide and pleading, and Michael stood up, taking an unconscious step forward to put himself between Rich and his father.

Mr. Goranski's eyes quickly locked on Michael, seemingly for the first time. "Who the hell are you?" He demanded.

Michael bit back a rude retort. The last thing he needed to do was piss off Mr. Goranski, who already seemed angry enough. Instead he just took a deep breath and stood up, extending his hand. "I'm Michael, sir. I'm Rich's friend." 

Mr. Goranski scoffed, ignoring his outstretched hand. "Piss off. I don't need you eavesdropping on me. Get out of here."

Michael hesitated. He really didn't want to leave Rich alone with his dad. "I-I don't know if I-"

"It's okay, Michael." Rich said quickly, his gaze flicking over to his father. "You can just wait outside. This won't take long,  _ will  _ it?

Mr. Goranski's face darkened. "We'll see." He turned back to Michael. "Beat it."

Before Michael could protest any further, Mr. Goranski grabbed him by the shoulders and practically shoved him out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

Michael put his face in his hands, anxiety pooling in his stomach. What did Mr. Goranski want to talk to Rich about? Why did he look so angry? Why had he waited until  _ now  _ to come visit Rich at all? Michael didn't trust Mr. Goranski one bit, and based on the one interaction they'd had, Michael could easily tell that Rich was scared of him, too. So Michael hovered anxiously by Rich's doorway, hoping he was close enough to be able to hear if something went wrong.

After a few minutes Michael heard muffled shouting from Rich, then Mr. Goranski, then their voices started to overlap each other. Michael couldn't make out anything that they were saying, but after a few more minutes of shouting Mr. Goranski burst out of the room, red in the face, looking furious. Not a good sign. He shoved past Michael, making him stumble back into the hard brick wall, and disappeared down the hallway.  _ Definitely  _ not a good sign.

Michael immediately went back into Rich's room, pulling the door shut gently behind him. Rich's eyes were fixed on his knees, his jaw clenched tightly. When Rich heard the door close he glanced up, and Michael could see that his eyes were red. "Oh. You're back." He said quietly.

"I am." Michael confirmed. He walked back to the seat next to Rich's bed and lowered himself into it. "What happened?"

Rich had gone back to staring at his lap. "Hm? Oh, nothing. We just. Talked, you know. Nothing important."

Michael almost scoffed out loud, but stopped himself. He didn't need to make Rich feel any worse. "You sure? I don't want to pry, but you seem... upset. Everything okay?"

"Yep. Everything's just fine." Rich nodded, giving Michael a wide smile. The smile stayed on his face for a few moments before his lip quivered slightly, and he sniffled a few times before he let out a sob.

"Rich," Michael said sadly, instinctively reaching forward and taking Rich's hand in his own to comfort him. Rich was trembling like a leaf, and he clutched Michael's hand back like a lifeline, tears streaking down his face. "Rich, what did he say to you?"

Rich shook his head violently. "It's stupid. It doesn't matter." He said, his voice shaky.

"Of  _ course  _ it matters. If it upset you, then it matters." Michael moved his free hand to Rich's cheek, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "You don't have to tell me, but I promise you that what ever it is, it isn't stupid."

Rich exhaled shaking. "I'm sorry. I don't even know why I'm so u-upset, it's not like he- I mean, he's said worse to me before, but- today, and with me being in here, I just don't- I mean- fuck!" He let out another sob, angrier this time.

"It's okay, take your time," Michael said soothingly. One thing he had noticed about Rich is that, since he'd had the Squip filtering all of his words for two years, he wasn't used to articulating how he was feeling, and he would quickly get frustrated with himself when he couldn't say what he wanted to. But Michael was used to being patient after twelve years of listening to Jeremy ramble and stammer his way through sentences, so he waited, rubbing his thumb over Rich's knuckles as he cried.

"It's just…" Rich said after a few moments, sniffling harshly, "It's nothing I haven't heard before, what he said to me, but the fact that he can't muster up an  _ ounce  _ of understanding for me, even when I'm in the  _ hospital.  _ I could have  _ died,  _ and his biggest concern is that I still "think I'm a boy.""

"Shit, Rich, I-"

"You know, I don't think he's ever called me Rich before? Or Richard, or Richie, or  _ any  _ variation of my name, for that matter." Rich gave a bitter laugh, more tears streaking down his face. "He won't call me anything but my birth name, because Rich is just a name that I  _ made up _ and he refuses to use it. Which  _ shouldn't _ upset me so much, because, like, he's done worse things than just  _ not  _ say my name, but today it was just too much. So I- I yelled at him, I told him that I  _ am  _ a boy, and there's nothing he can do or say that could change that, and he- he just got so  _ angry,  _ and- fuck, I don't know why I'm so upset  _ now.  _ It's not like this is anything new." Rich looked back up at Michael though puffy eyes, and faltered slightly at seeing the furious expression on Michael's face. "I'm- I'm sorry, I shouldn't be dumping all my shit on you again. And now you're mad at me."

"No! Not at you, I promise. Never at you. I'm mad at your piece of shit dad." Michael sighed, wiping the tears from Rich's cheeks again. Rich leaned into the touch "What he said to you was wrong,  _ so  _ wrong. And I'm not gonna pretend I understand what you're going through, because I don't, not at all. But I  _ do  _ know that not actively deadnaming and misgendering your kid is the bare fucking minimum, and you have every right to be as upset as you are. And I know that none of it is your fault."

Rich sniffed. "I-I know. And besides, if everything goes my way, I'm never gonna see my dad again. When I get out of the hospital, Matt is letting me move in with him."

"Really? That's awesome, Rich."

Rich gave a watery smile. "It is, isn't it? Matt has always been here for me. He wanted me to move in sooner, but he had to get through his first few years of college first. How he plans on putting up with my annoying ass I'll never know, but…" Rich trailed off, squeezing Michael's hand. "Thank you, Michael. So much."

"What for?"

"God, for everything. For comforting me, for visiting me all the time, and for just…  _ not  _ being all weird about me being trans. Not a lot of people at school would react as well as you did. And just… for being here." 

Rich's voice broke at the end of his sentence, and Michael felt an overwhelming wave of an emotion that he couldn't quite identify as he put his hand on Rich's shoulder. "You don't have to thank me. I'm here for you Rich, okay? No matter what." Michael said firmly. "Okay?"

"... Okay." Rich nodded, grasping Michael's hand tighter. "Stay with me?"

Michael smiled back. "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A nice comment always makes my day :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeremy and Michael have Serious Talk Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally have no excuse for taking so long to update. Rich isnt in this chapter, but he might be in the next one. Also I'm gonna throw in a rarepair sometime soon so ;) I'm a mess

Jeremy and Michael were sitting together at lunch once again, playing a very heated round of Mario Kart on Jeremy's Nintendo Switch. "Ah! You whore!" Jeremy said angrily, elbowing Michael in the ribcage as Michael lobbed a blue shell at his car.

"Ow! Don't be a sore loser, Jeremy." Michael sped past Jeremy's car and through the finish line. "Just accept that I'm better than you at this game. There's a reason  _ you're  _ player two."

"Never." Jeremy folded his arms and turned his chin up in mock-anger. "You used a blue shell, that's practically cheating."

"It's not cheating if it's a power up in the game, Jeremy-"

"Hey, Michael?"

Michael looked up from the table and smiled. "Hi, Brooke." He said, giving her a wave. Jeremy looked up too and quickly went pink, looking hastily back down at the table. "What's up?"

"You wanna come sit over at our table?"

"Oh, I'm hanging out with Jeremy today. Maybe another time."

"Jeremy can come too!" Brooke insisted, making Jeremy look back up again, surprised. "We miss you! And I'm sure the others would like to get to know Jeremy, too."

"R-really?" Jeremy said, smiling hesitantly.

"Of course! Jake said he feels bad for how he let Rich treat you, and he wants to make it up to you. Come on Michael, please?"

"I…" Michael glanced over to Brooke's table. At the table were a few kids Michael didn't recognize, and a few that he did: Jenna, Jake, Dustin…. and Chloe.

Chloe must have seen him staring, because she suddenly looked up and met Michael's eyes. She grinned, giving him a wink, and he quickly looked away, suddenly feeling queasy.

Yeah. He definitely wasn't sitting with Brooke today.

"Maybe another day, Brooke." Michael said weakly, offering her a smile that he hoped looked genuine. 

Brooke tilted her head. "Okay, if you're sure…" She said, frowning, looking a bit confused as she walked back to her table.

Jeremy also looked confused as Michael turned back towards the Nintendo Switch. "Why'd you say no?" He asked curiously.

"H-huh?"

"Every time Brooke invites you to her table, you always say no because you're hanging out with me. But she said I could come too, and you still said no. What's the real reason?"

Michael swallowed, his eyes briefly flicking towards Chloe again. "... No reason."

*******

Jeremy and Michael were once again sitting in Michael's basement, shooting the heads off of pixelated zombies as they played  _ Apocalypse of the Damned.  _ Or rather, Michael was playing Apocalypse of the Damned while Jeremy watched him, having given up on the game about fifteen minutes after he arrived, instead deciding to wrap both of his arms firmly around Michael's left one, his head curled up against Michael's shoulder. 

Part of Michael enjoyed and desperately craved this physical contact with Jeremy. Hell, he was grateful that Jeremy even wanted to touch him at all after all the stuff Michael put him through. But another part of Michael knew that the only reason Jeremy had been so affectionate lately was because he was scared, scared that Michael would leave him again. Jeremy had never liked physical contact much before the Squip, favoring their goofy handshakes or quick "bro" hugs over more extended contact. But now it was almost impossible to pry Jeremy away from Michael's side, so much so that Brooke had pulled the two of them aside one day at school and asked excitedly if they were a couple now. Jeremy had spluttered for a bit and hurriedly took a few steps away from Michael, face red, but almost as soon as Brooke was gone he had scooted back to Michael's side, standing so close that their shoulders collided.

Michael remembered when this clinginess from Jeremy would have made his heart race and his chest constrict tightly, but now it just made remember everything he'd managed to fuck up in the last few months with the Squip.

But even though it made his insides squirm with guilt, he let Jeremy cling to his arm while he played Apocalypse of the Damned, and he didn't protest when Jeremy began fidgeting gently with the sleeve of Michael's leather jacket, even though it made it much harder to play the game.

"Hey, Mike?" Jeremy said quietly, now toying with the zipper at Michael's neck.

"Hm?" Michael said distractedly, blowing the head off of an animated zombie.

"Why do you never wear your red hoodie anymore?"

Michael went stiff, feeling his fingers tighten on the controller. "Have I been wearing it less?" He said, poorly feigning confusion. "I guess I didn't notice."

"I don't believe you." Jeremy sat up, untangling his arms from Michael's and pausing the TV. "You used to wear it every day. You said it was the only thing you felt comfortable in. But you haven't worn it since... since August." " _ Since you got the Squip" lingered, unspoken. _

Michael sighed, dropping his controller on the floor. "Yeah. The Squip wouldn't let me wear it." He said quietly.

"But it's been gone for weeks now, and you still haven't worn it. Why?"

Michael opened his mouth, then closed it, looking at the floor. He hadn't told Jeremy anything about the Squip's "spinal stimulation." How could he possibly explain to Jeremy that the thought of wearing his hoodie made his neck tingle with phantom shocks, or how he had to physically stop his hands from flapping or fidgeting because of the constant lingering fear of punishment? That would just make Jeremy feel bad for him, and Jeremy was the last person who deserved to feel bad right now. 

"I dunno." Michael lied, avoiding Jeremy's eyes. "Just habit, I guess. No big reason." He quickly unpaused the TV and went back to playing Apocalypse of the Damned, hoping Jeremy would drop it.

Jeremy tilted his head, his eyebrows furrowing skeptically. "Okay," he said, disbelief coloring his voice, "if you're sure."

Michael went back to the video game. After a few moments Jeremy yawned, putting his head on Michael's shoulder again. They were silent for a while after that, Jeremy seemingly perfectly content to stay right where he was and watch Michael play the game.

About half an hour and several poorly hidden yawns later, Michael suggested that the two of them go to sleep. Jeremy nodded sleepily, allowing Michael to stand up and head towards his dresser. "Your moms don't mind if I spend the night." Jeremy said, sitting up and wrapping his hands around his knees.

Michael snorted. "Have they ever? You sleep over here so much you're practically part of the family by now."

"Fair enough."

Michael turned around, his back to Jeremy, and absently tugged his shirt off, opening his dresser in search of a sleep shirt. He pulled out a dark green T-shirt and was about to pull it over his head when he heard Jeremy let out a horrified gasp from behind him.

"What? What's wrong?" Michael said hurriedly, whipping back around to face Jeremy, t-shirt still in hand. Jeremy was staring straight ahead at Michael with wide, shocked eyes, all of the exhaustion gone from his face. The controller had slipped from his hands and fallen to the floor with a gentle clatter. "Jer? Are you okay??"

"M-mike…" Jeremy whispered, his face pale and his voice shaky, "y-your… your  _ back." _

Michael tilted his head. "My back? What's wrong with-?" Michael twisted around to look at his back in the mirror, and he too gasped at what he saw.

His entire upper back and neck was covered in thin, dark red scars, spidering up and down his skin and ending in jagged lines. The scars were ugly blemishes that stood out in jarring contrast to his smooth complexion. What the hell? What happened to him?  _ When  _ did it happen? Michael kept staring at his back, at a loss for words. The lines reminded Michael fleetingly of lightning bolts-

_ Lightning. Electrocution.  _ **_Shocks._ **

Fuck.

"... Michael, what  _ happened?"  _ Jeremy said in the same horrified whisper as before. 

"I… Jeremy, I don't know-"

"Bullshit, Michael!" Jeremy interrupted, uncharacteristically harshly. "There's no way you could have scars like  _ that  _ and not know how they got there. And these look  _ new.  _ And…" Jeremy gulped. "They don't look like they were an accident."

Dammit. He'd tried  _ so  _ hard to keep all of the details about the Squip's punishment away from Jeremy, because Jeremy was the last person who needed to be worrying about Michael, especially after all that Michael put him through. But now it seemed he was completely trapped, and Jeremy wasn't backing down. And it's not like there was much else he could say to explain away these scars, not when they looked like  _ that. _

"Jer, I…" Michael sighed. His green sleep shirt lying forgotten on the floor next to him. "I might not have… told you everything about the Squip." 

Jeremy raised an eyebrow. "How do you mean?"

"Well, the Squip… uh, whenever I didn't want to listen to it, or I broke one of its rules, it would… shock me."

Jeremy went pale.  _ "Shock  _ you?"

"Yeah. Like, an electric shock down my neck. And I guess I broke the rules often enough for it to scar."

"So that's why your back is…?"

"Yeah."

_ "Jesus,  _ Michael. That's… that's  _ horrible."  _ Jeremy looked disturbed, looking at Michael as if he had just dropped dead on the floor. "I'm so sorry."

"Eh. It's whatever. It's gone now, so."

"If you don't mind me asking… what kinds of things did it shock you for?"

Michael scratched his neck uncomfortably. "Uh. My posture, what I wore, what I said, when I didn't listen to it-"

"What you wore?" Jeremy repeated, looking sick. "Is  _ that  _ why you never wear your hoodie anymore? Did the Squip shock you for wearing it?"

"Yeah. It's not that I don't  _ want  _ to wear it, but every time I start to put it on, I just- oof!"

Without warning, Jeremy threw himself at Michael, wrapping his arms tightly around Michael's neck and enveloping him in a bone crushing hug. It was slightly awkward, since Jeremy was at least half a head shorter than Michael and Michael still didn't have a shirt on, but Michael sank into the hug anyway, putting his head on Jeremy's shoulder and shutting his eyes tight. Part of him felt guilty, because Jeremy was the last person who needed to be comforting  _ him,  _ but a much larger part of him craved,  _ needed  _ the comfort. He felt his eyes start to well up as Jeremy reached up and threaded his fingers through Michael's hair, a simple gesture of comfort that Jeremy knew always calmed Michael down.

"Michael, I'm so sorry that happened to you." Jeremy muttered. 

"Don't be." Michael said, sniffing. "I deserved it. I was awful to you."

Jeremy hesitated. "You were. But that doesn't mean you deserved it. The Squip was… was  _ abusing  _ you to make you listen to it."

"I didn't  _ have  _ to listen to it, though. I could have fought harder, I could have made it go easier on you-"

"I'd rather have you bully me for the rest of my life than have that  _ fucking  _ computer punishing you for being nice to me." Jeremy said firmly. "I don't blame you at all for making some… less than ideal choices while you had the Squip." Jeremy paused. "That's all it did to you, right?  _ Please  _ tell me it didn't do anything else."

It was Michael's turn to hesitate. There was more,  _ so  _ much more that he hadn't said. The fact that the Squip looked like Jeremy, or that the Squip made him insult himself in the mirror every night before he went to bed, or the Squip shocking him every time he thought about Jeremy in a way that wasn't platonic, or everything that happened with Chloe at the Halloween party… but did he really need to burden Jeremy with all that? Was it better to just lie through his teeth and tell Jeremy that nothing else happened?

_ "Michael,"  _ Jeremy breathed, sounding incredibly sad, and Michael realized that he took too long to answer, which, apparently, was enough of an answer to Jeremy. "What did it do to you?"

"I-I…" Michael could feel his heart rate already start to increase. He  _ couldn't  _ tell Jeremy about the Squip looking like him, because then Jeremy would know about the long years that Michael spent pathetically pining after him, and everything would be weird between them. "I c-can't…"

"Hey, hey, it's okay, Michael. You… you don't have to tell me." Jeremy reassured, pulling away from the hug. "But just know. If you ever  _ do  _ wanna talk about it, I'm here, as your friend, as your confidant, your player 2, whatever you need. I'll always listen to you."

Michael sighed.  _ God,  _ it sounded so tempting, finally getting some of the things he'd kept to himself off of his chest. Rich was great, but there was only so much that Michael was willing to share with Rich. Michael knew that Jeremy wouldn't judge him. Maybe he could vent about a  _ few  _ things to Jeremy, without telling him all of the details...

"... Okay. I'll tell you." Michael finally said, his voice slightly shaky. Jeremy nodded, gesturing for Michael to continue, and Michael sighed, taking a deep breath. "You remember Jake's Halloween party? S-something happened there, before the fire…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A comment always makes my day <3


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